Bachelor Canada: We have ourselves a wiener

Here we are. It's all over. Sorry I'm late. I couldn't watch the show last night. Just finished it this afternoon (the day after) and am ready to offer my take.

I guess if you're reading this, you already know who won so let's not be coy. There are no spoilers. I thought it was a good episode, but maybe I think that because there was plenty of conflict and Brad made the right decision.

I wasn't high on Bianka throughout most of the season, but she grew on me. In the end, I thought they made a nice couple and hope they can make it work. They both say marriage is forever, but don't they all? We'll see if this Canadian version of finding love on TV works any better than the U.S. version. We don't have the infrastructure of Canadian tabloids and magazines at every checkout counter, so maybe we'll never know if or when they'll break up or get married. We can just go on our lives assuming they lived happily ever after.

But one thing I'm dying to find out is if the Brooklyn Nets' Kris Humphries was following or was informed of the goings-on of his former girlfriend. Some sports scribe has got to ask. I think Bianka's goal should be to outlast Humphries' 72-day marriage to Kim Kardashian. Make it to three months and she wins hands-down.

Okay, to recap the episode. They were in Brad's hometown of Hudson, Quebec, where the two ladies met the Smith clan. But first Whitney and Brad met on a nearby golf course to hit some balls. Knowing how it all ended, it's interesting to consider her earlier words: "I love Brad. I'm 100% confident that we're right for each other." Granted, it was a disembodied voice who said that and she could have uttered those words at any point during the proceedings and the editors just inserted them into this episode.

Brad naturally wanted to talk about Whitney's words at the last rose ceremony, where she hinted that things weren't, well, 100% – after getting the rose, of course. Despite her selfishness and deceit, you could really tell Brad was bending over backwards to excuse her behaviour. He went so far as to take the blame for her actions, saying, "I feel I forced you into a situation where you had to become impulsive. And I feel responsible for how you acted. So I want to apologize to you." Wow, I thought. He's really under her spell.

He can golf, which you'd expect considering he said he spent his youth on that course. Whitney obviously never spent much time golfing. She'd shank one after another off and Brad would run off dutifully and get it as she stewed. There's a difference between being competitive and a bad sport that I don't think she ever learned. But once he gave her some pointers, she started getting it and was all smiles. Oh yeah, she should have just dressed in a giant red flag all season long.

Despite all his excuse-making for her, Brad knows what's what. Before heading to his family's house, he said, "In the back of my mind, I can't help thinking something else is going to go wrong tonight. I hope she doesn't close off tonight." Or was that, "I hope she takes her clothes off tonight?" I didn't quite catch it.

It was the former. I've never seen such an awkward gathering, be it real life or reality TV. Granted, she was put on the spot around the table. It was like a press conference with everyone firing questions at her. But still, she showed zero personality and couldn't finish a sentence. Brad to the rescue, though. He finished all her sentences for her as she hemmed and hawed, and spent a goodly portion of the time with the patented Whitney Table Stare®.

Do you think Whitney read this?

"She was just crashing," is how Brad put it under the intense questioning, particularly from Brad's sister, Ashley. Ash was splendidly blunt, both to the cameras and to Whitney. To Whitney she said, "I find you nervous around us, guarded around us, letting Brad talk for you. Are you nervous?" (Not asked in a sweet, concerning way but rather accusatory.) To the camera she was even more direct: "I think she's lovely. But this is a grown woman. Can you not speak for yourself? What's going on?"

Ashley was also concerned about how Whitney's reticence made Brad take more of an active role. "How does this [relationship] go forward? I'm concerned for Brad. Will he become a control freak?" I don't think that was a legitimate concern but it was kinda funny watching him frantically trying to make Whitney look good.

When they said their goodbyes outside, saying "See you in Barbados," Whitney couldn't have been more distant. Looked like she was already in Barbados. Without Brad. They gave each other a perfunctory peck and they were off. And that was the beginning of the end. Brad told us, "I don't know what to think after today. With Whitney it's so much work." Compare that statement to one he made earlier in the episode: "The chemistry between me and her is effortless." Reading between the lines, she's hot but a handful.

When Bianka came to town, Brad took her on a sports car tour of his hometown, stopping off at his favourite hot dog stand. He had been telling her all about the place since they were in Mexico so Bianka was dying to try it since she's a "food connoisseur." I guess even connoisseurs sometimes eat junk food.

On the visit, Bianka didn't get to meet Brad's dad because he had to sit in the Senate all night. He is obviously new to the job. Canadian senators don't have to do much of anything except show up to rubber stamp government motions. But while he was off offering sober second thought, Bianka and Brad showed up with two cases of beer. Unfortunately, their taste in beer was rather pedestrian. No rich micro-brewery beer; they brought Molson Canadian, i.e. the Coors Light of Canada.

After we heard Ashley describing the previous night as "the most uncomfortable family dinner I've ever had," she got down to laying her teeth into Bianka. She called Lady B on her "very, very polished answers" but Bianka was calm and real in the confrontation and completely won Ashley over. It turned into a love-in.

And outside, Bianka told Brad, "I"m really falling in love with you." Brad melted: "I'm really falling for you," he replied. Notice the change in verb.

At a family conference with Brad, everyone let him know that Bianka was by far the winner in their minds. Except Mr. Sober Second Thought, who refused to take a position, saying it was 100% Brad's decision. Ah, politicians!

Next up was Barbados. The first last date went to Bianka and the two learned how to play polo. Sitting on his horse, Brad told the coach, "It's very Canadian. I feel like I'm playing hockey on a horse right now." I loved it immediately, despite not being a hockey fan. I think from here on out that's how polo should be referred to: horse hockey. (Update: Just Binged it. Turns out horse hockey is a thing. Looks like polo to me, but I think it's different. I think I just like the idea of taking the uppity polo down a notch.)

For her part, Bianka, who started out the season very guarded and unsure, was head over heels. No, she didn't fall off the horse; she was just ga-ga for Bradley. She said she can't stop smiling. She goes to bed smiling; she wakes up smiling. "I'm beyond happy," she said. And she looked it. "I've never felt so sure about something in my entire life... I'm in love with him. I want him to be my husband."

Cut to: Whitney's date. She tells us, "I love Brad and I think he's an amazing guy." Kinda different vibe, isn't it?

Whit and Brad went boating and the chemistry was there at first. Then she went all Whitney on him. And that involved making absolutely no sense whatsoever from this point to the end of the show. It's like she was repeating back to Brad everything she's ever been told about herself, only directing it at a gob-smacked Brad. She said, "Communication is huge. I'm not as confident in our relationship. I don't know always know exactly how you're feeling." No, I didn't get that backwards. Whitney actually said that. To Brad. Yes, yes, pot and kettle and all that.

She continued: "I'm unsure where we stand or if we're 100% right for each other." Brad very reasonably responded that he's not sure what her argument is. And this is where she went from nonsense talk to just plain dumb: "Don't say that! It's not an argument!" And in so doing, she turned the word 'argument' from one of its definitions to another one of its definitions.

I think Whitney looks mysterious and intelligent when she's silent and brooding, but when she opens her mouth she's either spiteful or ignorant. (Disclaimer: at least on the show, knowing the editing process might have something to do with this.)

She told him, "I feel like if I try to explain something to you, you get defensive. And you know you do! You can't say that you don't." Well, if he can't, we can. At least we didn't witness any of that, and we witnessed that exact same thing from her. It really was quite funny hearing this from her. And it only got better!

Brad woke up the next morning knowing what he must do. "I don't want to have conflict with somebody over things she can't even express herself." That's how you express yourself, Whitney.

So he marched on over to Whitney Headquarters and knocked on the door to give her her marching papers. She answered without even the slightest hint of surprise. It was as if she was expecting him. Suspicious? Yes, but remember she's been acting crazy all episode so maybe this lack of recognition on her face is part of it.

She invites him in saying, "I have something to tell you." "Me first," says Brad. Oh goodie, this had all the makings of a bad sitcom. They argued about it briefly and I really wanted Whitney to go first because we knew what Brad was going to say. But he persisted and just blurted it out. "You're an amazing person but we're not at all ready for each other." And with that, she quietly shut the door in his face. We don't know if she was in a bedroom or a closet. Doesn't matter. She didn't stay in long.

She opened the door, not showing any signs of upset. Here's what she said: "I respect you and you have to respect me. You can't say hurtful things to me." He stood there looking bewildered, as I think we all looked when she started in on her gibberish. Hurtful things? What were we missing? Will we find out next week on the After the Final Rose episode?

She then walked away. Out the door. Then circled back, saying, "Please, just respect me, Brad. Please." (He said, "I do.") She continued, "I am respecting myself." What did it all mean? Your guess is as good as mine. In fact, tell me in the comments what you think it meant, because I can't even come up with a guess.

And more: "The way that you're acting, it's not fair to me. I'm happy for you but I'm here for me at the same time. And we both have a choice to be here. This is how I feel. Please just do that for me right now." ... Huh? I can't begin to make sense of that. Please do what for her?

It occurred to me that maybe she had practiced her lines to break up with him, not knowing that he'd break up with her first. So she just carried on with her plan, regardless of whether it made sense or not. She continued: "We shared some amazing moments and we had some amazing time together. We really did. And I want you to just... please... like... That's it." Brad stood there with his mouth agape.

And that was it. Brad told us, "It's not that Whitney's not for me; I feel that she's not ready for anyone right now." Bingo. I just wonder why it took him so long to figure it out.

At her exit interview, Whitney again sounded like she was the one who broke it off: "I respect Brad and I have the utmost respect for myself. We shared some amazing moments and I have no regrets in our relationship and I wouldn't take back anything for a second. But marriage is not for me and Brad. I'm not ready to marry him." Gabby was right after all! She wasn't there for the right reasons!

Now all was left was getting ready for his big moment with Bianka. A new ring guy, swarthy and sweaty, showed Brad some bling and he picked one. He put on his suit and made his way to the waterfront. Tyler Harcott was there to give him the bro handshake. Seriously, Tyler Harcott? Would Chris Harrison ever do that? Just give the meat and potatoes handshake like a normal person. You're over 40.

When Bianka arrived, Brad couldn't hold back a big smile. Then as she walked towards him, the tears started flowing. I would have thought seeing those tears would have given Bianka pause. But she had a huge smile for him, as if she knew she was the one. And he let her know almost immediately that she was. He told her she was "absolutely the woman of my dreams." She said, "I'm crazy in love with you. I can't wait to start my life with you."

"That's an easy segue for me," Brad said, and dropped to his knee. "This is the easiest decision I've ever had to make." He proposes and she says yes. They embrace and kiss, the music swells, eyes mist all across Canada. Then Brad pulls back and says, "You said 'yes', right?"

And that was that. The first even Bachelor Canada in the books. Some think I was just being patriotic by liking this version but I assure you that wasn't the case at all. I think I was being fair. I don't like probably most Canadian shows. I wouldn't be shy in saying I thought this one was subpar if that's what I thought. But it sounds to me like those who think it's vastly inferior (as opposed to just about the same, give or take) are those that automatically dislike anything just because it's on Canadian TV. Other than the sped-up nature of it, which hurt it, I think it was almost exactly like the American version, from the sets to the locations to the production value to the contestants. I think if you showed video of clips from this season and clips from any season from the Bachelor to someone who'd never seen either, they wouldn't be able to tell it apart. So well done, Canadian producers.

Will it come back? I guess that remains to be seen but we'd all like it to, wouldn't we? If only to criticize it.

Bachelor Canada: The Women Tell All To Tyler Harcott

I'm Tyler Harcott

I'll make this quick. And why not? The season has been rocketing through and tonight's Women Tell All episode was squeezed into one hour, which, as many people know, works out to something like 44 minutes after commercials. Then subtract all the filler and you're down to about half an hour. All the drama and pathos is squeezed into soundbites.

I'm Tyler Harcott

Still, though, it wasn't bad, all things considered. Once again, it looked just like a Women Tell All version down south. Same format. It even looked like the same studio. 

While we didn't learn a lot, one thing I took home from tonight was the host's name: Tyler Harcott. I know this now because after a season of going practically anonymous, Tyler Harcott announced to us that his name was Tyler Harcott five times in the hour. That's Tyler Harcott, in case you missed it.

I didn't think much of Tyler Harcott early in the series, but I thought he was absolutely fine tonight. How does he compare to Chris Harrison? Not sure. It's hard to see someone new in the role, but Tyler Harcott was like I said: fine. If this northern version of the show has legs, I think he'll grow with the job and on us.

I'm Tyler Harcott

But we're not here to talk about Tyler Harcott. We're here to talk about the women. One thing I couldn't wrap my head around was the timing. We know this episode was filmed before last week's episode aired because we saw highlights of the night immediately following the fantasy dates show, when Kara was sent home. But Kara was sitting in the rows of jilted ladies. And at one point she said it was "tough seeing the last episode." I'm so confused! This is why I could never totally enjoy Back To The Future.

It was funny to hear just how many of the women weren't feeling Brad. Melissa-Marie, the supposed Playboy model (I haven't seen any evidence she's ever posed for them despite endless searching... all for the cause, of course), said she thought they'd have a different Bachelor. Not sure who, but anyone else, I guess is what she was getting at. Then Tia said she didn't feel a connection with Brad, either. And when Kara came out for her turn on the lukewarm seat, looking lost and sad at the video montage of their bromance, she said she loved him as a friend and loved hanging out with him but was not in love with him. When Brad eventually dumped her, she said, "I knew it was right and he knew it was right." Of course, the producers never let us in on that.

Speaking of the producers, it was nice to hear mention of their dastardly reputation. Normally they're an invisible force. But in this episode we heard on a few different occasions how most of the girls figured Gabrielle was paid by the production to stir things up. They thought she was a plant. They didn't make it clear that she wasn't, but it should tell the powers-that-be what people think of the show. If they were in government, they'd be voted down on a non-confidence motion.

When Gabby was up, they showed a video tribute to her trashing ways. She had a negative opinion of just about everyone, even Britany, saying there's "something not quite right about Britany." But face to face, Gabby apologized, saying she loves her. And Britany accepted! She ran up to her to hug! I'm thinking maybe Gabrielle was right – there's something not quite right about that.

I'm Tyler Harcott

The low point was when Tyler Harcott, the host of the show, got the women, by a show of hands, to reveal who has fake boobs. And they did. Of course. Whitney wasn't out there at that point, or both her hands would have been raised. But the others, as far as I could tell, were Ana, Melissa-Marie, Laura F. and, shocker, Laura B. Chantelle has still resisted the urge.

Chantelle was still as sweet and bubbly as virgin champagne. Didn't really learn anything new in her segment except that Tyler Harcott, the host, thinks "we're all richer for having [her] in our lives." Oh, and Brad made a good point: he said she might have received a rose had she not left the show that week, but the following week could have been tough since she hadn't kissed a man in four years. If he kissed her, and then didn't ultimately choose her, it would have been disrespectful to her.

Calgary's Whitney entered to boos, just like the villains in Stampede all-star wrestling. Was it just me or did she look different this episode. It seemed her lower jaw jutted out. Either I never noticed before, or that's her fighting look.

You know that old adage, "Good things come to those who wait"? Well, Whitney said she doesn't believe that. She goes and gets what she wants. Gabrielle said she hoped it was all worth it, since she's here in the end. Whitney replied that everyone approaches her and asks why she didn't knock the yappy Gabby's block off.

Ana didn't applaud when Whitney entered and told her what's what. That got Whit quivering and weepy, saying, "Maybe I was closed off and maybe I said things I shouldn't have said." Yeah, maybe. But maybe not. Never admit anything on national TV, Whitney.

Oh, and did anyone else think the shoes were atrocious? I know I'm no fashion maven, and this is probably the style, but they're too much.

Highlights of the final week made it look like Whitney was going to be the one. We saw Bianka walking and Brad crying unconsolably. We also saw Brad's sister taking matters into her own hands with both finalists. Could be a good/bad one, although I don't really like either one. But I gotta go with Team Bianka.

That's just about all we got. Short and sweet. It's kind of nice not having the whole evening be wasted watching the show, but I also figure, if you're gonna do it, do it right. Let us get invested in the characters and their shenanigans. Let them have time to develop real fake relationships.

I'm not Tyler Harcott

But it kind of reminds me of the old joke that Woody Allen quotes in Annie Hall. There are two elderley women at a Catskill Mountain resort. One of them says, "Boy the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know. And such small portions." 

The show is terrible at its core, but we want more of it!

Bachelor Canada: Three's a crowd

Whining is beneath me, guys, but not a single comment last week?! Is it me or is it the show? As I've said, I think the show is as good/bad as the American version, but I guess a much smaller audience can see this one. That's what I'll console myself with. Yeah, that's it.

I was speaking to a woman last week who watches the show and she was saying how horrible this version is. Why? Because they say all the same things as the American ones. But to my way of thinking, every season all the contestants say the exact same things. It's branding. That's what they do. Everyone's on a "journey", some people aren't there for "the right reasons". We know the game.

She also didn't like the host, but the guy (whose name was finally mentioned – three times, yet! – tonight) is hardly around at all so that's no reason to dislike the whole show. Probably more than anything, she was one of many Canadians who automatically hate anything on TV that even hints at being Canadian. Usually there's good reason to feel that way, but I think this is an exception. That is, if you hate the U.S. franchise, you'll hate Bachelor Canada, but I can't see liking one and disliking the other because they're practically identical, for better or for worse.

One major difference, though, is the time allotment. We were down to the final three women tonight and the network gives up a whole hour for it. When was the last time any Bachelor/ette season clocked in at under 2 hours? Maybe in the first season, whenever that was. It was surprising all they could fit in given the constraints.

Brad took his three ladies to the Maritimes this week. Or what the producers erroneously called the Maritimes. Yes, Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island are two of the three maritime provinces, but Newfoundland & Labrador (one province, if you're reading from outside the Great White North) isn't included, for some reason. No idea why. Maybe because they were late to the party, constitutionally speaking. (Hey, maybe my ignorance on the subject will spur an irate Newfoundlander to comment!)

Bianka got to go to Newfoundland, Kara to Nova Scotia, and Whitney to PEI. No love for New Brunswick, for some reason. They're the forgotten Maritime province. I've been there many a time. I was there this past summer, as a matter of fact. Sure, it's not as glamourous as the others but I'm sure they could have scouted out a decent location or two.

The episode started with Brad gazing pensively out a private jet's windows as he reflected on his three remaining potential brides. Bianka would make a great wife, but he's still waiting for her to trust him. Kara is an all-around nice person and most like him, but he wonders if he can be around a girl who's exactly like you expect. Yeah, consistency sucks. Better to get one of them mercurial models where you never know how the day is going to go. And, of course, Whitney and her eyebrows are hot. So much to consider.

The first fantasy date went to Bianka. They met in Ferryland, Newfoundland. I thought maybe they should have taken a day trip to Dildo. Yes, there's actually a town called Dildo. That's awesome. (On the topic of oddly-named town names, this time on the decidedly not awesome side, did you know there's a place in Ontario called Swastika? I kid you not. How is that even still allowed?)

Bianka showed her smarts right off the bat. They were standing near the water, in which sat a big (but surely shrinking) iceberg. At the mention of it, she said, "I didn't know what that was." She thought maybe it was a giant piece of foam floating on the water. She said that.

Brad thought it was time the two of them had an "adrenaline date" so the two of them kayaked out and around the Titanic killer. Bianka wasn't thrilled with the idea, especially given her fear of deep water, but she went along. Barely. She wasn't having fun. When Brad said he'd do the rowing, she said she'd help because she just wants "to get to this frickin' piece of foam and go." And once there, she said, "Let's just get out of here, please."

You just know Kara would have been all over such an adventure, laughing all the way. But it's clear Brad prefers drama in his women.

They got back to shore and Brad poured some vodka over glacier water before handing her the card. You know which card. Yeah, that card. Only this time it was signed by Tyler. I know that because each girl read his name. Glad to see the producers read this blog! I'm influential. Tyler is the guy's name. Got it. Tyler. Don't let me forget it.

Bianka didn't gladly jump at the chance to spend the night in the fantasy suite. She's a lady. Remember last week she said she wouldn't give up too much too soon. She's learned her lesson. Live and learn. She expressed her concerns that Brad was loving two others and reiterated that she had been cheated on multiple times before. Yeah, well, she should be used to it then, am I right, gals?!... No? Oh, okay.

But really, is it cheating if she knows about the other two? It's not like he's running around behind her back! Come on, this is 2012! Get with the program, Bianka!

So she said her piece and was therefore true to her word that she wouldn't give up too much too soon. Mission accomplished. Usually she jumps straight in on an offer like this, but this time it was a good five or ten minutes before she accepted. Because a lady waits. "Here's to our journey of love," she said. A helicopter whisked them away to St. John's and a bed covered in rose petals.

(Quick question: Has anyone in the history of real life sprinkled rose petals on their bed? And who cleans up that mess?)

She admitted to the cameras that she's "definitely falling in love with him" and she thinks she "can make him a very happy man." Presumably in the future, not in the fantasy suite, although probably there, too.

Don't know if you caught it, but there was a hilarious exchange as they sat gazing into each other's eyes. Brad said, "Whatever made you change your mind in Mexico, I'm glad you did." Then there was this long uncomfortable pause. He finally physically nodded to her, as if to say, "Your turn. You speak now." And she jumped right in with, "It was you." Finally she remembered her line.

The second date was in a place called Wallace, Nova Scotia, with Kara. She's just so full of life. Brad took her skeet shooting. As dull as that sounds, Kara was all over it. It truly was a dream date for her, god bless her. They got dressed in hunting gear and were given a lesson. The deal was, when one person got one, they got to open an envelope and read a question to the other person, who had to answer honestly. Problem was, they both sucked at skeet shooting. Brad said he had his Certification of Canadian Marksmanship, but that was for stationary targets not little plates whizzing by.

But he eventually snagged one. His question to Kara was, "What do you need from me to be happy?" She answered that she wants a family, not to take life too seriously, and live life to the fullest. Mutually exclusive wishes?

Next she hit one and asked Brad, "What are you looking for in a wife?" He said something about wanting someone with the same values and who can tolerate his annoyances as he will tolerate hers. Whoever he marries one day, that should be on the wedding vows: "Do you, Brad, promise to tolerate Kara's annoyances till death do you part?" Actually, now that I think about it, it's kind of funny but also maybe should be on people's vows.

The last question (that we saw, anyway) was for Kara from Brad: "What did you expect going into this and what has surprised you the most?" (I'm paraphrasing.) She said something about how she's now thinking of a future.

When the card came, she got all throaty and replied, "I would love to go upstairs." I thought of the three, she was hands-down the best. Not only for my tastes, but for his. They seemed like a great couple. We know now that she was the one let go. Too bad, but at least he's consistent in choosing the worst people available every week.

While she was still in the game, she said, "I'd be happy if he proposes. I'm definitely ready to start a life." Remember this when we get to his reasons for sending her home.

The last date was in PEI with Whitney. Brad said if she doesn't open up, it's a deal-breaker. But we all knew what he meant by that. She would just have to utter some meaningless platitude and he'd hear what he wants to hear. And that's exactly what happened.

They went lobster fishing, which is a bit of cliché but way more subtle than what might have been. It's probably the first time in the history of the smallest province that no reference was made to Anne of Green Gables. Well done, crew, well done.

They followed this adventure up with drinking in a hot tub, because that's always recommended. He asked her if she'd thought about what he told her at the last rose ceremony and she replied that she's had lots of time to think. "I can see myself with you in the end," she said and he was blown over. That's all he was looking for her to say! But what did she say? It was so vague and ambiguous. She didn't say she wanted to be with him in the end, just that she could see that being the outcome. And the end of what? Their lives? The series? Yeah, probably the latter.

And her lack of communication continued unabated, despite his warnings that he needed her to open up. At a sunset dinner, he did all the talking: "I hope that when you look at me you see someone who's good enough for you." No reply other than a simple, "Mm-hmm." Aw, she doesn't say the most beautiful things, doesn't she?!

When he handed her the fantasy suite card, she read it aloud. Brad asked, "What are your thoughts?" One word: "Absolutely." Those are some well-formed thoughts, I think you'll agree.

We never did see their suite I guess because Whitney created some drama away from Brad. She made a call to someone (a friend? her mother?) and was second-guessing if this is what she really wants. The person agreed that if she's not sure, she should tell Brad. Whitney said, "I don't know if I'm ready for the next step."

So at the rose ceremony, we were waiting anxiously for her to break up with him. As he walked about, Kara was the only one who actually smiled. Brad handed out the first rose to Bianka. Okay, Whitney, speak up now. Take Brad away for a moment. But then Brad picked up the second rose and called Whitney's name. Unbelievable. And she accepted! Before Kara got a chance to say goodbye to Brad, Whitney then said she had to speak to Brad.

They whispered on a porch. Whitney said, "I don't know what's wrong." Brad said, rightfully, "This is the most selfish thing you could have done, do you realize that?" She said, "Something doesn't feel right." Brad said, "This is not the time and place to do this." So you just knew it was over between them, right?

Wrong!

Unbelievable. All he wanted was for her to go apologize to Kara. That's it. Then business as usual. She was still hot, after all.

I was gobsmacked. Kara, the lovely Kara, was still all smiles. She said there was no need to apologize. Brad was morose as he walked her to her stretch Hummer, or whatever vehicle that was. "Do not feel bad for me at all," she said, proving she's the best of the three by a country kilometre (if you're American reading this, no we don't actually say that).

There was drama with both of the other two, but this is the girl he's sending home? Maybe she was the worst in the sack, er, sorry, in the fantasy suite. Who knows? But from what we've seen, he deserves to be alone. Although, if Whitney had done the honourable thing and not accepted the rose, there's no way Kara would or should have taken it. Then we'd be left with Bianka and no rival. And no rival equals no mystery, which equals no viewers.

What was particularly galling was his explanation to her for why he didn't select her: "Do I see it being further than dating for you?" It was awkwardly worded, but the sense was that he felt she wasn't ready to get married and he was. Now scroll back up to her answers to his questions earlier if you don't recall. She said she's ready, willing and able. At the car, she said, "I don't know, I would have loved to get married in the end." In the ride home she said, "I wanted to be with him forever. I really thought I was going to marry him."

Back in private, Whitney said, "I don't know what to think." Brad, treading water furiously, said, "Let's just get through this." Love is in the air! Can you feel it?!

He then goes in to kiss her and she... lets him. Nothing reciprocated at all. It was like he pulled a mannequin towards him. See, what's not to love/hate about this Canadian version?! It's as awesome/horrible as the real show. Brad said, "I still believe I could be the guy for her." Yes, keep telling yourself that, big fella.

Next week is the After the Final Rose episode and it's already been filmed! You know what that is? That's horse hockey, that's what that is. No invitation? Who are all these people in attendance? How did they hear of it? When was it filmed? Where was it shot? How can I be Canada's Reality Steve if I don't have these scoops?

Oh well, it looks good. Whitney gets brow-beaten and sheds a tear. This is really where whatisname will earn his big Canadian paycheque. Looking forward to it.

Tyler. Yes, Tyler. That's it.