Bachelor Canada: Finale 1

Good lord, it's Tuesday already. Here's my challenge. It's 7:08 pm. Show starts at 8, I do believe. Can I whip this recap of last week off before the show starts? We'll see. I've always got PVR. Here we go.

This was week one of the dramatic two-part season finale. But keep in mind each episode is only an hour, so it's like a regular finale in America.

Tim and his two lady friends were in Tahiti. He said he knows "without doubt" the woman he's going to spend the rest of his life with is on this island. That would be so cool if he eventually married a Tahitian woman who was there at the time.

He also said he had "incredible fantasy dates planned." I was wondering if the adjective described the fantasy or the date.

First date went to Trish. He showed up leading two horses to her. He knew what he was doing, too. Turns out he grew up horseback riding. Trish's horse was a little wild. Presumably to get her ready for the fantasy suite.

Tim was impressed with Trish's chutzpah. He said "any other girl would spend one minute on the horse and be done." Really? What kind of duds has he been dating?

Trish appreciated Tim's many sides. He's "serious, funny and manly." Trish, on the other hand, is "bubbly, fun and confident."

Sitting in a path in a field, Trish had the guts to tell him that her heart says she loves him, but her head says that's crazy. Now's not the time for rational thinking, Trish!

Tim says he "can see it fitting well." I'm not sure if he was referring to the fantasy suite or what. Ditto when he said it was "nice to see that smile come across her face." I also noted how his romantic look is a bit creepy. No, scratch that: a lot creepy. Then again, I just made two creepy double entendres, so look who's talking.

Oh, did I mention this episode was sponsored by Sunquest Travel? You didn't think there was a budget in Canadian TV, did you? They nickel and dime it all the way, squeezing in sponsors whenever they can.

At dinner, things were quiet. But maybe in a good way. She said she felt like the most special girl in the world. And that makes her so happy. It seemed like there was a pregnant "but" waiting to happen, but they went right to the cheers. Fantastic editing, guys!

They got an envelope. I was wondering if it would be signed from Tyler. But since the host is never around, the note wasn't signed. It would have been cool if it was signed "Chris Harrison."

We all know what the note said. And there was no hesitation on Trish's part to spend the night with him.

I guess they do. We didn't see much of it, just them wandering over to the suite. Then, 15 minutes into the show, we're at the "epic date" he's planned for April. They're going swimming off a yacht. I know he just wanted to see her in her bathing suit.

April's mind was racing. She wasn't sure she felt completely ready to be proposed to, but hopes the date throws any doubt out the window.

As things turned out, we're not sure, either. We'll find out tonight (in 29 minutes! Gah!). But one thing it did was cure her of her fear of heights. She managed to finally throw herself in the water from the top of the yacht.

At dinner she said, "What are we cheersing to?" A simple yet endearing question. Cheersing. I like it. Tim made a toast "to trust and leaps of faith."

More insecurity from young, sweet April. She said she's more into Tim than at any point but doesn't know if he feels the same. Oh sure, put it back on him.

Tim asks her point blank if she's ready for a possible proposal. And this is not the answer you want to hear when you're considering asking someone to marry them: "I don't know yet. I'm still trying to figure that out." It all felt so quick to her (mainly because it was) and was questioning if it was real (it's not).

Tim told her to quit thinking so much, in so many words. He said no one can know all the facts. "At a certain point, you just have to jump."

He gave her the card. Her response: "Oy yoi yoi." She deflects back to him. They then both agree that they need to spend more time with each other. Yeah, that's the ticket. This time, we see them enter the bedroom, unlike with Trish.

Trish then met Tim's parents. She said she wanted to feel them out first before she went "in there with jazz hands." But she was extremely comfortable, greeting them with a hug. She and Tim's dad got along like a house on fire. But the mom was quiet. Finally, the mom takes her aside and whips out a list of questions. She told her "basically it's an interview for a lifetime job."

Trish told the mom she always wanted a little girl. And a boy. They got along well and the mom was happy. So was Trish. So happy she wanted to dance in her chair. And she knew she did well. She felt the positive reinforcement. "I nailed it!" she said.

Next was April's turn to meet the parents. She was feeling overwhelmed. "He needs things faster from me than I can give him," she said. She didn't feel prepared to answer their questions. She steps in their room and greets them with a handshake. She needs to go to First Impressions School.

And she was right about answering their questions. She wasn't prepared at all. She struggled to give any kind of answer. She said so many things were going through her mind, she couldn't even focus. She was not making the impression she wanted to make. Tim's dad told her she should feel relaxed with them. And then his mom took her outside.

Mom asked her what she liked most about Tim. She said she liked that he was patient and understanding. Hint, hint! Take note, parents. She needs time. She felt like she was being grilled. She also felt like she was rambling. She was right on both counts.

Outside, there was no big kiss like there was with Trish. Instead, Tim said, "See you soon, okay?" April replied, "Okay, bye," then turned and walked away.

In the debriefing session with his parents, the dad said Trish was more gregarious and comfortable in her skin. The mom added that Trish was more at ease with herself. As for April, his mom liked that she was "totally honest and upfront." To their credit, when Tim pushed for an opinion on who was a better fit, they didn't pick a favourite, saying it was up to him.

We then saw April at the beach. She talked about feeling pressure and knew that his parents saw her at her worst. "And that makes me want to pull away." That quote was used three times in the episode. I don't believe for a second she said it three times, as they wanted us to think; rather, they just ran the same clip three times.

Tim got a message saying April wasn't doing okay and needed to talk with him. That's not something you want to hear any time, but least of all on The Bachelor! So he rushed to her. She said she couldn't articulate what she was thinking. "I'm so tired of analyzing everything." Tim asked what that meant for them as a couple. She put her face in her hands and whispered, "I want to go home." Later, she said clearly and lucidly, "I could be giving up on love. I want to go home."

So is there any chance she stays? I suppose there are two chances: slim and none. But I guess we'll find out soon. As in nine minutes! I hope this suffices. I'll do better on the next one. (No promises, though!)

Okay, bye.