Bachelorette Andi: R-e-s-p-e-c-t means g-o-o-d-b-y-e

It's overnight week! Finally we can find out who the real father is! I think for the After the Final Rose episode in two weeks, they should bring in a special guest: Maury Povich.

Hey, look, I don't know if the whole pregnancy thing is legit or not. It was on the cover of one disreputable (I'm guessing) magazine and I haven't seen it mentioned anywhere else. But I'm going with it! It's too good to pass up! Especially because (if you haven't heard) the alleged father is not the one she ultimately chose.

Andi, Chris, Nick and Josh were in the Dominican Republic. Andi gave us the lowdown on each of the final three. Josh is funny, endearing, self-deprecating and she feels she can be her complete self around him, with all the brattiness and divaness that goes with it. That's a big thing, I'm sure, for Andi. I only know the version of her we've seen throughout two seasons but I'm sure that "brattiness" and "divaness" are rather charitable interpretations of her id.

Chris is sweet, smart, light-hearted, funny, cute, charming, romantic, a "farmer-slash-businessman." He's the "total package." So you know he's a goner, then, right?

And then there's Maude. Er, I mean Nick. The two have "mental connections." He excites her. He's sweet, affectionate, smart, serious. "He just gets me," she says. He's passionate. "When he kisses, he kisses," she says. She can see growing old with him.

So there you have it. The three challengers. Who will take the crown?

The first date went to Nick, who I believe is the man she'll choose. She wanted to get him first in the fantasy suite, fool around with him to let him think he's the father of Josh's baby. She didn't want a life of going to her brother-in-law's football games every Sunday but thought Josh provides better genes for her offspring. Makes total sense.

What season would be complete without a helicopter. So off they fly to a beach on a private island. "It's frickin' insane," Andi said. On the beach, it looked like there was padding sticking out of Andi's bikini bra. Nick should have shoved a coconut into his trunks.

Andi wanted to get to the heart of Nick's previous breakups. His family told her that he was pretty devastated but he had never mentioned it. And why should he? But he came clean. He told her he was a mess for about six months after one girl dumped him in his 20s. Did Andi need to know this because she was planning to break his heart? If she thinks he's the one, this is irrelevant information.

His goal on this date was to finally tell Andi he loved her. But when the opportunity presented itself, he rambled. He had one more chance, though, that night. He took the coward's way out, but in an inventive way. He had spent the week writing and illustrating a fairy tale. Kudos for not writing a poem, but still, a fairy tale? It told the story of a princess (Andi) in a magical kingdom searching for her prince. Seeing him read made Andi think of him as a father reading to their kids. Seeing him read made me think of him as a kid.

The story was incomplete, though. It got as far as the magical fantasy suite. At this point, Andi whipped out the card. Nick opened it and – behold! – a key to the royal chastity belt! Nick was "beyond excited."

Now was his time to tell her those three magic words. He failed on his first attempt: "I love... what I know about you" Cop-out. Then he failed on his second attempt, listing off a long series of "I love that..."s. But using the L-word so often warmed him up enough to utter, "I love you, Andi." Whew! Although he could easily have said it in the privacy of the fantasy suite and saved himself any embarrassment from public declarations of love. But he was on a roll: "You're it for me. When you know, you know." See, they're made for each other. That line reminded me of her "When he kisses, he kisses" line.

Nick completely let his guard down and the old cocky Nick returned: "There's no way it's not us."

The next date was with Josh in Santo Domingo. He knew what this date represented so he haggled on the street with a vendor of aphrodisiacs.

Andi seemed distant. Then again, she had just gone the distance with Nick the night before. (Was it the night before or do they give her a day to recover?) They watched some kids playing baseball on a dirt lot and joined in. Andi thought he was "awesome" with the kids, and kids in general. Somebody's clock is ticking. No wonder she was so eager to get knocked up.

After the game he asked her how she liked his family. "They were good!" she faked, damning with faint praise.

Josh had the line of the night when, in talking about his love for her, he said, "I've never said that to somebody before that I've really meant it." She beamed without fully understanding that he was admitting he tells women what they want to hear. No wonder he was so afraid of the lie detector test!

They kissed, but the kisses seemed passionless. Not to Josh, though. He said he was "through the roof."

At night they talked about what kinds of parents they'd be. (Turns out they'd both be great.)

Andi admitted that "I can be difficult." Uh, you think?! Josh didn't blink. He said, "You've already been difficult." Oh, if only he knew the full extent of her difficultness.

Andi described him as "always so happy-go-lucky" and this was a bit of a concern for her. But I think she's seeing what she wants to see. He certainly wasn't happy-go-lucky about the lie detector test. And I doubt he'd be happy-go-lucky about her not wanting to traipse around following his brother to football games.

It just looked like her mind was elsewhere through the whole date. And that elsewhere was back in the fantasy suite with Nick. But she seemed to warm up a bit at the prospect of shagging Josh. The fantasy suite beckoned. I wonder if Josh (and Nick, too) learned a lesson from Andi's complaint about Juan Pablo in the fantasy suite and made sure to ask a few token questions about her before they got it on.

And last but certainly least was the date with Chris. He's been a stand-up guy who I've never seen with Andi. I just didn't get the connection. He doesn't seem her type at all. Nailed it.

The two become gauchos, riding horseback. First Andi makes it seem like it was all her idea, then admits that she's always been skittish around horses. She spends the ride through the countryside in near-panic mode as her steed keeps trotting instead of plodding. Been there, done that. I once spent a week on a cattle drive and was given a horse with a mind of its own. I demanded a new one the next day and was relieved to get one on downers who loped along at the back of the pack. Just my speed.

Chris tries his best to be confidently flirty but fails with, "Did I ever tell you you look really hot on a horse?" accompanied by a nervous laugh. You mean all those times you didn't see her on a horse? Why no, you didn't.

Andi revealed that she didn't know if she was confident spending the night with him. Couple thoughts on this: 1. Why not? Don't they just talk and spend time away from the cameras and microphones? 2. We've known this all along, so why string the poor sod on and invite him to the fantasy suite week? Surely the "hot" Marcuszzz would have been worthy of a roll in the hay before sending him home.

She rambled on about his family and it was clear where this was headed. To Avoidancetown. Chris admitted that he and his family play Ghost in the Graveyard (aka Hide & Go Seek) often. Often! His farm is so big some people play Hide & Go Sleep! (Credit: That's a Brent Butt punchline describing his favourite game as a lazy child.) Subtext: This is the type of non-stop fun you can expect as the wife of a farmer.

Chris told us the fantasy suite would be "huge" for him. Foreshadowing! It was not to be. Andi made sure she manufactured an excuse to derail the Love Train. When Chris said, "I say I'm falling in love with you but I really am in love with you," she starts bawling. "I can't feel what you're feeling," she said. "I don't see the foundation with us." And that became the catchphrase of the night. Then she used the old "respect" line as a way to get him the hell away from her as quick as possible.

Seriously, how does having respect for someone necessitate sending them home from the date instead of going through the rose ceremony. Surely it's more embarrassing to have to hail a horse on the side of a country road and gallop off to the airport, isn't it? If you make it to the rose ceremony, you can always fool yourself that you were really close.

Besides that, what does it say to all the others she didn't select at various rose ceremonies throughout the season? That she doesn't respect them?

She told Chris that it's "not fair" to make him wait for the rose ceremony and enjoy a couple more days in the Dominican Republic. Come on, Andi, after all you put him through, you owed Chris a romp in the sack! Or at least an all-night cuddle.

When she told him she felt like an idiot for what she's doing, he asked why. She responded that he's great, smart, has an awesome family, etc. He had a great point when he asked her, "Why do you question your feelings?" She could have replied, "Because those aren't my real feelings, dummy! I'm just making things easier for you, so shut up and nod pensively!" Instead she said, "My head and heart don't match up." That's all he needed to hear. "I should probably go," he said. Andi wasted no time: "I'll walk you out." Even though they were already out.

At least he doesn't have to worry about being the father of Andi's love child.

He said he didn't see it coming. "It hurts," he said. He's a sympathetic character but I can't see him being the next Bachelor because I don't think the producers could find 25 fame-whores who'd want to give it all up to live on a farm in northern Iowa. And if they could, they're probably not the chichi types the network is looking for.

The next day, Andi seemed pretty chipper. She described the last date as "a little bump in the road with Chris." Gee, thanks, he must have been thinking.

In describing her time with Nick, he heart overtook her memory because she said Nick said, "I've got something to tell you." Then she said, "He just looks me in the eye and says, 'I love you.'" Just like that, was it? I recall a lot of dancing around the subject before he could bring himself to say it, but then again, my head and heart don't match up, either.

Even though Nick and Josh are the only ones left, Andi thought it was important to have the rose ceremony anyway because accepting a rose is equally as important as giving it out. You know, because in the history of this show, zero people have turned down a rose.

At the ceremony, she told the last two that she sent Chris home "before the fantasy suite." She had to throw that in because she needed them to know she's not promiscuous. Two men in two nights is her absolute limit.

She gave the first rose to Nick and her face lit up into a big smile. With Josh, she gave him a sly smile. What to make of those expressions? I still think Nick is the one she'll choose, but I've been wrong before.

Josh thinks it'll be him, though, naturally. "She's going to be Andi Murray," he said, rather presumptively. "It's got a nice ring to it." I think he was thinking of the tennis player.

Two more weeks till we find out. Next week is the Men Tell All episode, otherwise known as the Try To Figure Out Who Most of These Guys Are Again episode.

Hey, follow me on Twitter. Please. I said please so you have to now. @BachelorBlogger.

Bachelorette Andi: Three men and a baby, maybe

Sorry I'm late this week but I happened to stumble across a magazine at the checkout counter that claimed Andi was pregnant. Not only that, but the deed happened in the fantasy suite. Not only that, but the winning spermatozoa was from the penis of one of the gentlemen she did not ultimately select to be her life partner. As you can well imagine, I was floored. I needed to take a few days to process.

Of course, none of that was mentioned on the show. Oh sure, there were hints, but it hadn't happened yet, since this was just hometown week, making the hints that much more clever. Who knows if the issue will be addressed at all and what kind of spin they'll put on it. And maybe – just maybe – for once the tabloids are wrong. But what are the odds of that?!

So, as mentioned, it was hometown week. Andi started her journey in old Milwaukee with Big Scarf Nick. He took her to his favourite place in all of his hometown, the Public Market, which speaks, probably, more to the options in Wisconsin than to Nick's personal taste. He then took her to a brewery, where Andi remarked on the nice smell. I like beer. I've walked past breweries. The odor is disgusting.

This particular brewery made a special 'Nick & Andi' beer. Presumably it can be used to get a woman drunk and impregnate her.

Then, to put the seal on your desire to visit Milwaukee, they danced to a live polka band, complete with bubbles. It's no Venice, but it's as close as you can get.

Nick, as I had forgotten from earlier in the season, comes from a large family. Now, a lot of people say that but Nick means it. He has ten (10!) siblings. I see a family with four kids and I think they're a throwback to the 1950s. His family has 11. Why don't they have their own reality TV show? Or travel with a circus?

To make matters worse, the parents of this over-30-year-old-man could pass for his brother and sister. How is it possible they have eleven kids? Well, I suppose some could be adopted, and perhaps they are. That would be the only reasonable explanation. His youngest sister is in the 7-10 age range, for the love of God! I don't know why I'm so obsessed over this miracle family, but I am. Did the parents start procreating in junior high school? Maybe this lends a clue to the mystery sperm donor in the fantasy suite. Maybe the ancient Nick feels the need to get moving on his own thundering herd.

One of Nick's zillion sisters is his confidante: Maria. How he remembers her is beyond me. Maria said Nick's been in some serious relationships and has experienced some serious heartbreak. Or maybe she was thinking of one of her other zillion brothers.

Nick's youngest sister, Bella (after ten kids you apparently run out of all the good names), had a list of questions for Andi, including the kicker, "Do you love my brother?" Andi skirted the issue like a pro and showed great maternal instinct towards his sister (a sentence I've never written – or heard – before).

Nick got all teary telling his mothersister (that's a term I just coined for a young-looking mother) that Andi is the "half of me that's been missing." And "I don't think of her as the Bachelorette anymore; I think of her as my girl."

Next on the tour of America's hotspots was Arlington, Iowa, Chris' hometown of 758 folks. "Day-to-day life is pretty simple here," he said in the understatement of the year. Andi kept talking about how "hot" Chris looks. Granted, she says that about everybody but this is just nuts. I mean, he's a fine looking person in the most literal interpretation of those words, but nothing out of the ordinary. Help me out on this one. Am I missing something? Leave your comments below. I am genuinely curious to see what my readers think.

Andi and Chris are standing out on his farm then he starts walking towards his house, i.e. the only house within miles. When Chris informs her that it is his house, she remarks, "Really?!" No, Andi, they decided you'd meet at some random farm and walk into a stranger's house. What's the big deal? In Arlington, housing prices are probably dirt cheap.

Andi also loses her shit when she sees a tractor. On a farm! The fact that Chris, a farmer, can drive said tractor is enough to send her round the bend. She calls him the "epitome of man." He sure is. On the field, when she asks what she could do in Arlington if she moved there, he said, "There's an opportunity to be a homemaker." Yup, epitome of man.

Also while sitting there, the Great Waldo Pepper flies by with a message flapping in the wind behind the plane: CHRIS LOVES ANDI! Andi was so turned on by it, she and Chris started eating each other's face.

At dinner, Andi starts to tell the story to her family, talking about the picnic. "While we were sitting there..." Chris's sister guesses the end: "You let one go?"

The sister also described Chris as "driven". I heard "drive-n" and replayed it several times, every time hearing the word "drive" with an "en" at the end. My wife kept hearing the correct pronunciation. Who was right? Anybody? Anybody? Bueller?

Chris's mom told Andi that "nowadays, the world is so small. There's no limits for a woman on a farm." For example, she could be a homemaker, as mentioned, or she could drive a tractor, as she does, or, you know, maybe... um...

Another hint before the fact of Andi's pregnancy was when she told Chris's mother that, "I can't wait to have babies." Little did Chris's mom know she meant it literally.

After dinner the couple were treated to a game of hide and seek. See, there's lots to do on a farm!

Date number three was in Tampa, Florida, for Josh and family. Back to civilization. They headed to a baseball field, of course. The producers lack imagination. Any time anyone has played any baseball in their life, that's what they do. I was surprised to learn Josh hadn't played the game in seven years. Yet that's his "occupation" on the show? How long are you an ex-professional baseball player? Forever, I guess. I would have figured he might have something else to describe himself. But I guess it's better than "brother of NFL prospect."

The whole brother thing was odd. Josh claimed he quit baseball for his brother Aaron's NFL dreams. How are those two things connected? Or is it just an excuse? But Josh does seem invested in it. At dinner with Andi, it's all he wanted to talk about. But we learned this is a family that does everything together. We also learned who the favourite son is.

Then they all went outside and played touch football in the yard.

The last hometown visit was to Dallas, where Canadian-born Marcuszzz lives. He says he's only brought one other girl home to his family. But remember, the kid is only 25. That kid, though, drives a Mercedes. It probably cost more than Chris's house but Andi didn't seem overly impressed.

Marcuszzz took Andi to an empty club where he sat her down then proceeded to strip for her, to reenact their first group date. Only solo. Can you say 'awkward'? What the hell was that about? Andi seemed to like it, though. She said he's one of the hottest guys she's ever dated: "head to toe hot."

Andi said more than any of the others, she was nervous to meet his family. Maybe she thought she'd get a whooping.

But it was all good. Marcuszzz's mom seemed nice and they seemed to get along. He also took the opportunity to tell his brother for the first time how much he appreciated him being a father figure to him. Nothing like a film crew to open up to your family. His mom, Halina, said Marcuszzz is normally very reserved. Not with Andi, though. I can't count the number of times he's told her he loves her. He also says he's the happiest he's ever been and that Andi is his soulmate. That can't end well. Andi says life with him would be a fairy tale. As in, not happening in real life.

Next was the bad news about Eric. The four men arrived at Chris Harrison's house (?) and waited for Andi to show up. Seeing as they already paid their respects to Eric, it seemed almost exploitative. As they sat there stunned, the film crew descended upon them, coming out of closet and walls to offer hugs.

The next day was the rose ceremony. Life goes on. Andi manages to squeeze in two "y'all"s for good measure. The roses went in order to:

1. Josh
2. Chris
3. Nick

She sent her soulmate home. No happily ever after afterall. It was Grimm. He was the only one to tell her flat-out he loved her (I think). She tells him he's done nothing wrong, which, I'm sure is a great relief. But Marcuszzz is still bummed. "I don't know what to do from this point on," he said. In the limo he said he felt like an idiot. "I shouldn't have told her I loved her," he said. It blew up in his face. "I believed in something that wasn't there." Sounds like all the ultra-religious contestants over the years, but he was talking about love.

Next week Andi's head and heart don't match up but fear not: the checkout counter magazines assure us she quit her job and is engaged to one of the remaining three. It's gotta be Nick, right? Or has she quit her job to take up homemaking on the farm?

Bachelorette Andi: The nice villain

And then there were four... But first there were six, which is where we found ourselves at the start of this episode, with Andi and the fellas in Belgium. Josh the Jock, Farmer Chris, Coach Brian, Nick the Prick, Marcuszzz, and Samurai Dylan had one last chance to advance to the hometown dates. Two wouldn't make it.

Half the guys sported big pouffy scarves this week, most hilariously sported by Farmer Chris. I dare him to wear it back home in Iowa. He'd be laughed off the farm in record time. The other two with the neckwear were Marcuszzz and Nick the Prick. I thought the other three should have been given immunity to the next week but since Andi also was apparently sponsored by the scarf company, two of the bare shouldered ones would, indeed, be left out in the cold.

In this episode, we finally got to see a bit of what the other guys hate about Nick the Prick. Only a bit, though. Out of all the Bachelorette villains over the years, he's got to be the nicest. He's just overly confident, verging on cocky. Or "persistent," as he spins it. But he's also measured and can see the other side of the argument, which we get to see when the other fellas confront him but in the private room where he's talking to the camera, I'm guessing his nice-guy comments are edited out. So instead we get these gems: "The rest of the guys are wasting their time. I 100% feel Andi and I will end up together." And "There's me and no one else. No second, no third..."

Marcuszzz got the first one-on-one date. Didn't phase Nick one bit: "It's hard to imagine Marcus ending up with Andi if she's going to end up with me."

On their date, Andi and Marcuszzz ordered mussels in Brussels. Just what you want in a country that is almost completely landlocked. Andi said the most anglicized bonjour and merci I've ever heard. She speaks French with the élan and flair of the most English person you can imagine. Marcuszzz tells her – yet again – that he loves her. She does her best not to nod off in her mussels.

There was no rose on the date, so no pressure. Not immediate, anyway. They had dinner at the very fancy Academy Palace. Andi wanted to know about who she'd meet if she decides to go to his hometown next week. This is where I was convinced Marcuszzz had lost it. They'd go to his sister's house where Andi would meet his mother, brother, and sister. His dad doesn't play a role in his life. He left the family and apparently blamed the mother and Marcuszzz. "It's not your fault," Andi consoled him. But how did she know? He could have been a little shit.

Okay, nothing bad so far. Then he said his mom used to beat him and that she'd admit to not being the best mom. He described their relationship as "dysfunctional," although it's good now. "He's a goner," is what I wrote down. But Andi said, "He's an amazing guy" and called him "resilient." "He's everything I've been looking for in a man. No doubt in my mind he's going to be an amazing husband and father." If he doesn't beat his kids or leave (those things tend to repeat). "This is a man, a total package man, in front of me."

It's still kind of funny how former pro baseball player Josh got the jock edit while there's no mention of Marcuszzz being a former pro soccer player. Andi is so worried about the jock aspects of Josh but it's not like soccer players don't have women throwing themselves at them.

Dylan's barber

I mentioned Samurai Dylan above. After weeks, I finally came up with a nickname for him based on his appearance. Did you notice that tiny little unecessary pony tail at the top of his head that hung down all the way to about a centimetre below the top of his head?

The persistent Nick decided to make an unscripted move. Or was it? He just had to see Andi but didn't know what room she was in. So at this hoity-toity place that's hosting this big prime-time American television crew, he tells the front desk he lost his key, can't remember his room number, and says it's in his wife's name, Andi Dorfman. And the soon-to-be-fired front desk person gladly reveals her room number. Reeks of a set-up, doesn't it?

So up he goes and knocks on her door. But first he tells us, "I don't know how she'll take it." Did they stop him on the way up and bring him to the interview room? After all that, he finally gets to her room and she's still wearing the outfit and jewelry she had on for Marcuszzz's date. She makes a quick change and they go for a walk.

Andi recognized that Nick was breaking the rules but said that all the guys should want to sneak over to see her. I'm sure the others are thinking why there are rules if there are no consequences for breaking them. It's a funny position for a district attorney to take. Later Nick mentioned that Andi wasn't allowed to say certain things to him, but why can't she break the rules, too? Where's the consistency?! They make out and Andi said, "When he kisses me it's like I can feel what he's thinking."

And they make fun of the French!

The next (real) date was with Josh. In Ghent, they saw a goose parade. Yes, a goose parade. Belgians hadn't seen that much goose-stepping since 1940.

Andi wanted Josh to open up on this date. And he finally admitted something. Kinda. He said, "I have feelings for you." Andi, all hopeful, asked, "You have feelings?!" "Maybe just a little bit," he smirked, and Andi gave a pouty look.

Later she said his parents will ask him how he feels about her. She asks what he'll tell them in reply. He thinks about it for a moment and says, "I'll tell them how I'm feeling." No wonder this guy wasn't thrilled about the lie detector test last week!

They had dinner in a castle, as you do in Belgium. Andi thinks Nick and Marcuszzz are ready to get married but she doesn't feel Josh is. But Josh admitted that he's falling in love and she lights up at the news. They engage in some silhouette kissing in the shadows and then "dance" in front of another American group playing a ballad, while the soulless locals more appropriately stood and just appreciated the music.

There was a rose on the line on the group date. Nick, who was on this one, said group dates are "the worst thing in the world" but decided to give it his all this time. They went to the countryside and rode a rail bike to a monastery. Apparently it was sacred ground and no kissing was permitted within the walls. So Andi took Farmer Chris to a pottery barn just outside the walls where they got dirty and kissed. I don't know why but it always gives me the creeps seeing Farmer Chris kiss.

Coach Brian the Humble said, "Nick thinks he's smarter than everyone else. He may be right. He's smarter than me." Um, not to rub salt in your wounds or anything, Brian, but that should be "smarter than I."

Brian decides to put all his eggs in one basket and tell Andi he is falling in love "100%." He'd never said those words to anyone before. That's a fine how-do-you-do considering how things turned out.

Nick stuttered around Andi, trying as best as he could to hide his cockiness. "I never felt someone... whatever... fall... you know... I don't want to put words in your mouth but I feel it. When I say I'm going to marry you, it's not like some shot in the dark." And she eats this up!

To his credit, as Andi almost desecrated the sacred ground by wanting to get as close to him as possible, face-wise, he backed off, saying, "I shouldn't." The villain with the sense of honour.

Nick got the group date rose, sending the other three back to the hotel even though they each only had one 1-on-1 throughout this whole process. "I truly feel she just told me she loves me," he said. His famous confidence was at its peak.

Everyone else was pissed at Nick. Coach Brian the Humble had to give it up to the villain, saying, "Nick is playing the game well." A good coach respects his opponent, I guess. But he did call Nick "a snake," so there was that.

Marcuszzz guarantees that Nick will play the game right down to the final two and then walk away from it all, calling Nick a "douchebag."

Decisions, decisions

You know Andi is smitten because when Nick suggested they play the "This or That" game, she got enthused at the always controversial waffles or pancakes. Fun game, right?!

She had a surprise for him – and every human within a 100-mile radius: Fireworks! "No way!" said Nick. Oh, way, my man. Way.

Back to Coach Brian the Humble. Now he called Nick "a damn smart guy." Farmer Chris had another word for him: "salesman." As this banter was going on, Nick slinked home and sat on the couch with the guys. No one said a word until Brian spoke up saying he wasn't going to beat around the bush. His big criticism was that Nick "acted certain." See? Nicest villain ever! Marcuszzz charged that Nick liked "to get into our heads and prey on people who are insecure at times." Another charge was that Nick had watched past seasons of the show. What a bastard, right?!

Nick, through Brian's eyes

Nick remained calm and listened to his detractors. He said Andi was his priority. Chris said to him, "Is she the priority or the game? You walk way more about strategy than you do about Andi." Nick asked (calmly) for examples, but none was coming. Brian, though, hammered him with, "You're smart." Boom!

Andi felt this was the best week to date. She slyly mentioned that she was falling in love, too. Who could it be?! We know she has a thing for Nick. She also mentioned Josh and Marcuszzz. Apparently everyone knew it. Dylan nailed it, saying the elimination was going to be between him, Chris and Brian. How did they know?

Chris didn't do himself any favours telling her if she went to his hometown in northeast Iowa. "It's in the middle of nowhere" and is populated by a whopping 758 people. But he told her he was falling in love with her and she's a sucker for that kind of thing. The full reality of that info won't sink in until next week.

Dylan also doomed his chances when he told her if he's selected it means she can see him proposing to her in three weeks. She gave him the "oh dear" face. I think in our culture you usually have to have kissed someone before you propose to them.

Even though he was the only one with a rose, Nick the Genius felt the need to interrupt a conversation she was having with Coach Brian the Humble. After all these seasons, I still don't understand why someone can't object to being interrupted. Nick just waltzed in there and said, "Can I steal her away?" Brian the Humble said, "Sure!" Sure! Why "sure"? Gah!

Andi didn't care, though. She briefly mentioned the target on Nick's back but that's it. She's charmed by his shameless audacity.

Chris needed to tell her one more thing. They walked outside ominously then the Farmer went to work. As gross as it was, Andi appreciated the chutzpah. "He just plants one on me. Like, you go, Farmer!" she said.

With Nick already rosed, there were three more to hand out and they went in order to:

1. Josh the Jock
2. Marcuszzz
3. Farmer Chris

Sad to see Coach Brian go. I expected Dylan since I don't think they ever even kissed. Dylan wished he had opened up earlier, while Brian said he poured his heart out to that girl. "If she doesn't get the guy she deserves, I will be furious." He's a good guy but I don't see him as the next Bachelor. Still holding out for Marquel.

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