Bachelorette Kaitlyn: Surface-level smackdown

Yo, peeps. How's everyone doing? Thanks to Barbara for trying to get more comments in the comments section. It didn't work, but don't let that stop you, Barb! One is better than none. Maybe I should be promoting this more on Twitter. Nah! It's like an exclusive party here. (Although if you want to follow me on Twitter, we're @BachelorBlogger. If you tell two friends, and they tell two friends, and so on, that's six new followers and maybe a few more comments.)

I feel like the guy from Memento every time I sit down to watch. I have no memory of what happened the week before. Only my blog acts as the tattoos. I have to go back and read it to get back into the swing. I don't even recognize half the guys.

But I do recognize Nick! He's back. He enters the quiet room of guys and acts like he's been there all along. The other guys don't act like that, though. They grill him. They're seated like Nick is at a press conference. Tissue Tanner asks if he's chasing his 16th minute of fame. Burn! Not sure what the answer was. The guy says it seems odd that he hung out with Kaitlyn a month ago and it didn't work out but he's here now.

Joshua has a problem with Nick calling Kaitlyn a "cool chick" rather than an "awesome woman." Nick says she's both. Got him on a technicality.

Everyone's sulking. They sit in stony silence facing him. He just hopes they can respect why he's there. I don't respect why any of them are there so I'm not singling out Nick.

The group date goes to Shea Stadium. They called it Citi Field, home of the Mets, but I've always known the home of the Mets as Shea Stadium.

Or is it a group date? Maybe not. Looks like everyone is there. Why is that? This is anarchy!

JJ the Cocky Puck takes Kaitlyn out to the baseball field, where he picks her up and runs around the bases. Homerun! Also looks like he's wearing pink socks and brown shoes from what I can tell. In loving memory of Rooftop Clint, in all probability.

One by one, the guys tell Kaitlyn they're not happy with the whole Nick situation. Shawn says this is a turning point for their relationship. He says he'd hoped she was smarter. "This guy's full of shit, 110%." She asks if he can trust her. He's not reassuring her. She says she really likes Nick but her worst nightmare is coming through. It's going to be a really difficult rose ceremony.

Ah, so this is the rose ceremony, not a group date. I'm slow on the uptake.

Seems quick for a ceremony for old Nickster. Then again, we haven't had one in two episodes. They stand on the field shivering, the roses atop a bucket of baseballs on the pitching mound. Who has roses already? That'd be Balloon Boy Justin, Love-Man Jared, and Dr. Cupcake. The rest go in order to:

1. Aitch
2. Zed
3. Shawn
4. Tissue Tanner
5. Moonshine Joe
6. Run Ian Run
7. Cocky Puck
8. Steel Rose Joshua
9. Nick the Possible Prick

Who's leaving? That'd be Detroit Jonathan, Ryan, and Corey. I think. They didn't really say.

If Nick's done anything on this show so far, he's taken the heat off the cad JJ, the Cocky Puck. All of a sudden he's a popular guy in the house. But let's not forget what a jerkface he really is. Can we all agree to remember that?

Now they're in San Antonio, Texas. Remember the Alamo? I don't.

A date card arrives under the door. Aitch gets a one-on-one. Looks like they're going for a walk because the card said, "Let's take our love one step at a time."

Nope, they go driving in an old red truck. I guess they're going to step on it. It's a Ford pick-up, according to manly man Steel Rose Joshua, who would know.

Ah, that "one step at a time" thing was because they're entering a two-stepping contest. Kaitlyn is a dance teacher, apparently, in Vancouver but she's only two-stepped a couple of times. Still, I'm sure she'll be fine even though she says she's nervous. If you can dance, you can dance.

I can't believe there's a whole dance movement based on quick-quick-slow-slow. Seems limiting. They last the first song, but get tapped out of the competition during the second number. But they looked like a nice couple together. They sit on the back of the pick-up and quick-quick-slow-slow kiss.

A new date card arrives back at the hotel. It's a group date and Nick is included, meaning Shawn will get a one-on-one later.

The evening with Aitch continues first, though. There's no way he won't get the rose. He opens up and talks about his long-distance romance. Sure enough, he's offered – and accepts – the rose. They seal it with a kiss. "He's exactly who I want to be with," she says, before adding, "in this moment."

The group date sees a 12-year-old enter with a mariachi band singing Ay-yi-yi-yi, a song I knew as the Frito Bandito song in commercials. I guess it's a real song, too. The challenge for the guys is to write their own mariachi song and perform them outside in public.

Moonshine Joe comes up with the clever(ish) lyric, "Kaitlyn, will you mariachi me?" The kid singer asks where his serious side is. Buzzkill.

Joshua keeps saying Nick's presence is taking time away from him. I don't think that logic holds up under scrutiny but that's just my intuition.

The guys walk down the street dressed in black with big black sombreros, looking like the Ten Amigos.

Jared actually sings the Frito Bandito song. I'm sure the musicians there appreciated that.

Run Ian Run is by far the worst. He's hard on himself, heaving a heavy sigh saying he choked yet again. Joshua, too, thinks he sucked but doesn't take it so seriously.

Nick one-ups the others by taking Kaitlyn up to a balcony to serenade her, but he's horrible. He definitely needed a gimmick to stand out. "We have such a great connection/ it gives me a huge erection," he sang. With a lot of Bachelorettes, that wouldn't go over. But Kaitlyn loves it. Most of the guys think it's pretty good, too. All except Joshua.

At night they're in a ranch. Joshua takes her aside and gets Kaitlyn to cut his hair for some inexplicable reason. He says, "You're a barber, right?" She's confused (as am I). Because she's not. At least I don't think she is. He blindfolds himself because otherwise he'd see what's going on on the side of his head even though there are no mirrors in sight.

She starts in with the razor, buzzing the side of his head. But only one side. Now at least he has the haircut to match his crazy talk.

Nick wastes no time. He kisses her without any needless talking. But they finally stop to talk. He tells her none of the guys has been rude to his face. When he heads back to the common room, he returns to silence. Joshua finally speaks up. "I'm having a helluva hard time trusting you," he tells Nick. Nick tells him he doesn't need to trust him. But Josh can't pinpoint what he doesn't like about Nick. It's just dude's intuition.

Then Joshua takes more of Kaitlyn's time. They sit in the rustic old church and he tells her what he can't stand about Nick. He says Nick talks about his season with Andi all the time. But Joshua admits that it's just intuition, then adds that not one person likes Nick. She says, "So everyone's lying to my face?" Uh, not quite everyone, Kaitlyn. Remember earlier when Shawn said Nick was "full of shit, 110%"? Anyway, it's stressing her out. He tells her to talk to Tanner, Shawn, Zed and they'll all agree that it doesn't seem right. Now Kaitlyn is questioning everyone.

Joshua came back and claimed he was in an interview and not with Kaitlyn. Now the tides are turning against the Welder. The others knew what was up, that he was talking to her again.

Kaitlyn enters and tells the guys she's having a real issue. She asks if everyone's being honest with her. She asks point blank if Joshua thinks everyone's being honest with her. He says, "I like to think so." She confronts him, saying he just told her moments ago that the guys weren't being honest with her. He says he hopes the others aren't going to hang him out to dry. So he's implicating them.

Zed says all's peachy keen. Josh says they just spoke at the bus how goofy the situation is. Zed says all wide-eyed, "What are you talking about?" Who's the liar?

Kaitlyn tells them she's not kidding around. She's looking for a husband. (Okay, so she's lying, too, but it's in the spirit of the show.) She picks up the rose and gives it to Nick, saying she has to trust her heart. Boom! The new guy gets it. Joshua is feeling pretty low. Shoulda kept his fat trap shut, he thinks. Was he telling the truth? Probably, but the truth shall set you free from the show.

Now's the big day for Shawn. It's his one-on-one date. Shawn doesn't trust Nick and thinks he's there for the wrong the reasons and plans to tell Kaitlyn. Obviously the guys didn't talk to him about the group date.

Proof it's been done before

They go kayaking, something nobody gets to do, Kaitlyn says. I think she may be wrong on this one. Pretty sure people have kayaked before.

Sitting on the bank of the river, Shawn says he felt bad for Joshua last night. He tells her there were guys that probably didn't speak up. She doesn't seem so mad with him like she was with Joshua even though they basically said the same thing.

Later he tells her about a horrific car accident he was in five or six years ago. The doctors hadn't seen anyone survive an accident like that. He says he never wore his seatbelt until that day. He put it on and two minutes later got in the accident. Clearly the message here is that seatbelts are bad luck.

They kiss awkwardly and he tells her that he's falling in love with her. Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall! Kaitlyn feels like it was her husband telling her that. She whispers back that she's feeling the same way. He gets the rose, they hop in a canoe and there are fireworks. Literally. She says he's the guy she gave the first rose to, and can't wait to give more roses to him, and may give the final rose to him.

Run Ian Run can't understand why Kaitlyn wouldn't want a Princeton graduate, former model who defied death. Normally girls like him. He's a catch, he says. He's good looking and smart, he says. He lobbies for being the next Bachelor, saying he'd be better choosing from 25 women. I'm sure the Twitterverse is exploding with tweets in support of Ian for Bachelor. All ironic.

Cocktail party time. Aitch, Nick and Shawn are safe. Joshua is choking up at his gaffe. He's yet another contestant who hasn't clued in from all the past seasons that it never pays to speak truth to love. He doesn't want to leave. If he gets sent home he'll be devastated. But I think we know where this is heading.

Run Ian Run is looking defeated. He says, "Tonight is the pivotal moment of the entire situation. I know Kaitlyn is not interested in me. There's not a chance this situation will work out. I'm pretty over it." He says Kaitlyn wants to hear the truth but can't handle it. "She's not half as hot as my ex-girlfriend," he says. He's clearly falling apart.

Nick is wearing a bow tie, emulating his hero Irving R. Levine, no doubt. Good thing he already has a rose. That would be a deal breaker, I'm sure.

Jared tells her he feels like he's falling in love with her. She whispers that that makes her happy to hear, but doesn't say she's feeling that way, too. They go into a room and fall down on a bed filled with rose petals. They kiss.

But wait. Why is there a bed with rose petals at the cocktail party? That's usually saved for the Fantasy Suite. This smacks of entrapment. They're trying to sucker Kaitlyn into doing sexual intercourse to someone.

Interspersed with her romp with Jared is Run Ian Run revealing his true self with every word that falls out of his brain. He says, "My patience is at the end. Against all of my logic, Kaitlyn doesn't want someone like me and it's just making me look bad." (Actually, he's doing a pretty good job of that himself.) "It's frustrating. ... I bring so much more to the table than any of these guys here. I have a good job, a good education, charsima, brains, looks. If that wasn't impressive enough then I don't know what else is impressive here. ... I could be the Bachelor. I think I'm a very eligible Bachelor in this country and in this world. I am an enigma and who I am is a gift that you unwrap for life."

Lobbying to be the next Bachelor already? Oh, Ian. I pity your sweet naivety. You've got a worse chance that Juan Pablo coming back at this point.

Outside Kaitlyn kisses Moonshine Joe and the guys see it. Ian the Gift unravels ever so coolly because he's a cool guy, as he'll be the first to tell us. He says, "I'm not here to be with Kaitlyn. I don't find Kaitlyn interesting. Kaitlyn just seems like she wants to make out with a bunch of people and have a good time." (Close-up of Kaitlyn kissing Joe.) "I'm not here just to have a good time. I have a good time in my own life. I meet chicks and I have a lot of sex in my own life." (Yet he felt the need to find love on The Bachelorette. Now tell me again who's there for the right reason.)

Enough? Not even! There's more!

"I'm in a place where everybody is bowing down to this girl. It's terrible. I need to get my confidence back because it just got [bleeping] run over by a train here. So when I talk to Kaitlyn, I don't plan on holding anything back tonight. I'm going out guns blazing, son."

We'll see about that.

Nope, he was right. That's exactly what he did.

He takes her aside and gives her a dose of the honesty she says she craves. It starts with the small talk as they walk down the hall. He asks, "How's San Antonio?" She says, "I love it. Are you loving it?" He says, "No."

And we're off!

Let's put the pause button to good use because this needs to be written out so you can let it soak in. I'm not sure we've ever heard anything quite like it on this show.

"I heard what you said about being honest with you. You told me to share my feelings with you. I look around the house and I look at you and I feel like everybody's kind of on vacation from life. And for me, this isn't a vacation. I came here for love. And I came here to find a wife. And it's really difficult for me hanging around a group of guys that are just making fart jokes, making poop jokes, making sex jokes, and [inaudible]. That's what works for you but that's not what works for me. It's that surface-level stuff that I really try to break through. And that deep person is who I am." 

"I know," Kaitlyn interjects softly as she sits there squeezing her lips together as she is wont to do. 

"And it's tough for me because I came here expecting to meet the girl that had her heart broken and was devastated by Chris Soules, not the girl that wanted to get her field plowed. Really, I feel like I found that there's still that girl. I feel like you're here to make out with a bunch of dudes on TV. Bringing Nick in, I don't question his intentions; I question your intentions. I really see you as a surface-level person at this stage. And I wonder if you're really that shallow because I don't see anything beyond the surface."

To Be Continued... of course.

Great stuff from Ian, especially considering he spoke of all the sex he gets any time he wants back home.

The next episode should be a doozy. Not only will we see her reaction to the Gift that Keeps Unwrapping, but it's also the episode she sexes someone.

Bachelorette Kaitlyn: The More the Merrier

A new dramatic episode of The Bachelorette starts now! Or so we're told.

Oh right, it's the Rooftop Clint drama. It might actually be good. Is he gay? Is he straight? Is he misunderstood?

Kaitlyn sits him down and starts in on him. He interrupts her, saying, "Did I disappoint you on our one-on-one?" Leading question because he knows they had a grand old time then. Not really the point, though. Then he starts talking about JJ and she interrupts him this time to say this isn't about JJ. He tells her he has a great relationship with everyone, saying he's been nothing but nice to all the guys. Then he says he's been "100% honest" with her and says so looking her straight in the eye. Is that a sign of a sociopath? Now she's conflicted. She's having second thoughts about sending him home. But she says she's really feeling upset because she really, really, really, really liked him but now she's done. "I don't trust you," she said. "This is insane," he said.

They walk back to the house hand in hand. Because that makes sense. She tells the guys Clint is going home, then apologizes for making this into another dramatic night. She doesn't know what to say. JJ says, "I think you should say sorry to all of us right now because you are taking time and emotions." I thought he was talking to Kaitlyn, but turns out he was addressing his boyfriend Clint. That riles Clint up. "Me? I need to apologize?" Hell hath no fury like a brofriend scorned. On his way out, Clint forces JJ to shake his hand. He does, and says, "You have no idea how hard this is for me right now."

Clint ignores him and walks away, saying, "Hey, I hope all you guys find what you're looking for. Thanks guys."

Clint comes back in and JJ tells him, "There's a few things I want to say, man." They are standing thisclose to each other face to face. I thought they were going to kiss. Instead JJ heaves a heavy sigh in Clint's face. Cocky Puck continues: "First of all, I probably said something rash. I'm frustrated. And I'm sorry for doing that." He slaps his calloused hand down on Clint's manly shoulder. Steamed, Clint grabs JJ around the wrist and moves it off, saying, "Don't touch me. Not after 'shut up' because I'm going to fucking kill you." Then there was a bunch of bleeping both ways, making it hard to understand what they're saying. But JJ says he'll probably be in the same limo home because they're going to hang him anyway. Clint responds, "Get the fuck out of my face." He says, "I told you shit that I haven't told people in a long time." JJ says he told Clint stuff no one else knows, either. Clint replies, "You're a piece of shit," with a big smile, looking deep into his eyes. JJ is confused. Clint explains, "I just went in there and asked you to back me up and you didn't do shit. Get the fuck out of my face, dude." Some more bleeping then, "You're about to make me lose my cool and I'm not okay with it... Walk away from me. Thank you."

JJ says he understands. Clint says, "Hey, I wish you the best of luck here. Hey, that tie goes really good with your shirt, [bleep]. Piece of shit." And out he walks to the limo. But we get no limo interview! What did he say?! How could there have been this build-up about man love last week and this week nada? Zip.

JJ is in tears. Like seriously in tears. Breakups are hard. The Cocky Puck tells himself to "suck it up."

We've still got a rose ceremony, though, don't forget. Who's in? Damnit, I have to go back and check again... Shawn, Zed, and Aitch are all safe.

First, though, the guys are telling Cocky Puck his behaviour was despicable for throwing his friend under the proverbial bus. It was a lose-lose situation for old JJ.

Kaitlyn says he rmind isn't made up so she needs to talk privately with Chris Harrison. She tells him she doesn't want a rose ceremony. Nobody's going home. She feels too good about everyone there, including JJ. Everyone sits in silence. She stage whispers to them, "This is a good thing." But they can't believe she included JJ.

I think Shawn, Zed and Aitch should have protested because their roses from last week now meant nothing. One of them could go home at the next ceremony.

JJ tells us he's looking for a girlfriend, not a boyfriend. That's gotta be the first utterance of its kind on this show.

The gang is on their way to New York City.

Oh, thank God, we're going to find out about what Britt's up to. We were all wondering.

In New York, the date card arrives. It's a group date. As each name is read out, cheers ring out. Then they call JJ's name. Crickets. But in the group shots of them cheersing their glasses, he looks like he's fitting in. Maybe he's been humbled.

The surprise guest on the date is hip-hop legend Doug E. Fresh. I know very little about rap but even I've heard of Doug E. Fresh. I remember him from the '80s. Never heard his music, granted, but I've heard of him. He's going to teach them to rap for a rap battle.

It's going to be Shawn vs Justin. Corey wants to go against JJ. Zee is up against Tanner. Jonathan versus Ryan. They've got to be simple, to the point, and funny. Because rap is nothing if not hilarious.

JJ says he's "literally listened to zero rap" in his entire life before adding, without irony, he listens to Broadway show tunes "religiously." Come on, this is going too far. There's no way. Even people who love show tunes don't listen to them exclusively. And he tries to tell us he's not looking for a boyfriend. Good one. But still he's ready to "dominate" a rap battle. Cocky Puck comes by his name honestly.

Fresh introduces the "prize for the guyz and they will be mesmerized." That's how it's done, y'all! (He was talking about Kaitlyn.)

Zee vs Tissue Tanner up first. The jacked one says, "Even with steroids you wouldn't look like me." Tanner responds with, "She's too small for you, bro. She could fit in your pocket" and rhymes it with his "very tiny rocket." Boom-shackalacka!

Detroit Jonathan vs Ryan. DJ says, "Please take your ass back to Florida because I-I-I-I know she's bored o' ya." Nice one. Ryan's was so bad it's not even worth rewinding the PVR.

Kaitlyn tells us it's the worst rap battle she's ever seen. Which raises the question: How many rap battles has she seen?

Now the real battle: Beach Volleyballer Corey vs Cocky Puck JJ. I didn't catch all Corey said but his presentation – toque and swagger – was good. All I heard was "your boyfriend Clint." JJ was stiff but lost points when he told Corey to go back to his "NYC hoes" in front of a bunch of NYC hoes.

Shawn vs Balloon Boy Justin. Shawn makes fun of Justin's hair then delivers the knockout punch with, "You say you're a big time personal trainer. Kaitlyn: his body, my body – no brainer," as he lifts up his shirt to show his six-pack. I didn't get Justin's references but it seemed to score some points.

Sexy Fake Virgin, was in the crowd so after the show Kaitlyn rushed over to give her a hug, and managed to avoid getting mascara transferred on to her. She was there with Nick, from Andi's season. I can't remember if he was a good guy or a heel. Anyone remember? But Kaitlyn says they struck up a friendship over social media. She seems thrilled that he's there. More thrilled than with any of the other guys.

(I just went back in the Bachelor Blogger archives to jog my memory. Nick is the guy from Milwaukee with 10 siblings. I called him Nick the Prick and also Nervous Nick. He was one of the finalists. At the After the Final Rose show, he asked Andi why she made love to him. So he's a classy guy through and through.)

They go off together. He tells her the idea that she could potentially get engaged and he might not have met her bugged him. Flirt, flirt. She says her mind is blown and asks if he's going to stay. She wants him to stay, she says, but realizes it's so rude to the other guys. That always seemed like a bogus argument to me. If you're looking at this as just a game show, then it's not fair. But if the goal is for her to find true love, it's fine. All's fair in love and war.

She sits alone on the stairs and contemplates her situation. The night took a turn from a fun, casual date to a difficult emotional one. When she sees the guys, she instantly feels nauseous. Now she knows how we've felt all season long!

They're on a yacht. She wears her emotions on her sleeve, that girl. Shawn asks if she's alright. She says no. She tells them about Nick, saying she wants to give him a chance. The guys are thrilled, as you can imagine. Some of them remembered him. I find that hard to believe unless they're all buddies off air. I write about this show every week and I can't even remember who he is. They recalled him immediately. One remembered how he kissed and told, which is uncool. He was on board with the whole idea until he learned it was Nick.

Kaitlyn leaves the guys. Nick the Prick is waiting outside the boat. They embrace. I hope the guys are watching this from the ship. She tells them it's hard to do this four weeks in. He tells her she needs to do what she needs to do. They certainly don't seem like they just met. And just like that, they slow kiss. Pleased to meet you!

She says she has a genuine connection with Nick. She says they discovered it "shortly before" she knew it was a possibility for her to be the Bachelorette. How much of a connection can one get over texts? Oh, right, sexts. Forgot about those. Still, though, they hadn't met, or so they insist.

She tells him she wants to sleep on it and she wants to see him in the morning. Nick takes that as a positive. I hope it happens just for the fun of it. Nobody's ever brought back on this show. Or if they are, they go home immediately.

Kaitlyn returns to the future rejects. Justin tells her one more guy isn't going to affect him. It's her journey and they're all just along for the ride. Good on him. The more the merrier, he says.

She has a rose to give out and gives it out to Justin, naturally. He played that perfectly. Tanner thinks it might be the most meaningless rose in the history of the show, given what went down. No, given what went down, last week's roses were the most meaningless because there was no rose ceremony. The guys return to the hotel and inform the others of the turn of events. Steel Rose Joshua channels his inner Norm Macdonald and says, "Mother of God! Another dude?!"

On a snowy morning, Kaitlyn calls her not-so-secret love, Nick. She tells him, not so convincingly, that she has some "serious relationships with these guys. Relationships have developed and some are pretty intense." She tells him this isn't something to talk about over the phone; she'd like to meet in person. Of course she would. She's going on her one-on-one, she tells him, but is getting her hair done so he should meet up with her then. Nothing like a pre-date rendezvous with a paramour. What better way to prepare for a one-on-one with another man?

She wants to have manners and not disrespect the other guys, but on the other hand, this is something that's going to affect the rest of her life so she's torn. She just needs to talk to somebody. So she talks to Crazy Ashley, who's a hair dresser, while she's doing Kaitlyn's hair. She tells Kaitlyn what she's feeling with Nick is just lust and it'll fade. Ah, the wisdom of crazy people. Now Kaitlyn's more confused than ever. She knows the difference between lust and love, she thinks. So what's she saying? That she loves Nick? She's in deeper than we've been let on.

With her hair done (I guess), she goes to her rendezvous with Nick. They stare at each other for a while. He tells her he's not here to be the villain; he's there for her because he wants to get to know her more. She says the kiss on the pier was "undeniable." He described it as "not terrible." She tells him that she needs to be selfish and she'd regret if she let him go. He's psyched. He says he hopes the guys can respect why he's there. I'm sure they can.

They slow kiss again in the street. And then she goes on her date with Love-Man Jared.

It's a formal affair at the Met. He tells her she looks amazing. She says nothing in return. She tells us it's a hard night because she's so stressed out about the Nick sitchy-ation. All she can think about is that.

Over dinner, she asks how Jared is feeling about Nick joining the gang. Because there's nothing a dude likes more on a date than talking about another dude. He says no matter what happens, it doesn't change how he feels about her. Good answer. That warms her up a bit. Then he pulls out a poem. It's been a few seasons since we've had that. I still hate it. But they kiss, she gives him a rose, and they kiss again, so what do I know? So far, bad poetry has a 100% success rate with the ladies in this franchise.

They get a note from, ostensibly, Chris Harrison (but it's really the producers). It says if they want to continue, there's a limo outside waiting for them. What are they going to say? Of course they take it. And it takes them to a waiting helicopter! This really is a throwback season. First the horrible poetry, now the chopper! (Commenter Anonymous from last week, you got your wish!)

They fly around the Statue of Liberty and between high rises. She's having such a great time she thinks, "Maybe I don't need Nick." But it's fleeting.

Kaitlyn tells the guys her decision the next morning. Nick's going to be moving in tonight, but no date this week. It's just a decision she has to explore but it doesn't take away anything she has with anyone. Then she mutters, "I do not like the energy right now in this room." Yeah, the men should have been giddy with excitement.

She has to follow her heart no matter how hard it is. The guys are determined to make the best of it.

She tells the group date that singing, dancing and musicals are a big part of her life. Who knew? They walk into a theatre to see an Aladdin rehearsal. Turns out Kaitlyn's obsessed with the musical. The guys have to go through a real Broadway audition. JJ's going to be so jealous! Moonshine Joe says singing and dancing are not his strong suit. The winner will be cast and make their debut in front of 1800 people that night. The other fellas go back to the hotel.

Lots of jazz hands in the dance rehearsal.

The singing audition is next. Joshua doesn't even like his talking voice. His singing voice is bad, too. But not as bad as Joe, who doesn't even try. Run Ian Run can carry a tune. "I'm a man of many talents and singing's one of them," he said. The judges think he was singing too much, rather than connecting with Kaitlyn.

Then comes Dr. Cupcake, who admits he's sung A Whole New World before in the shower and the car. And he already looks like a Broadway actor so this is his to lose. His singing is quite awful but he gives it his all. Tough choice for the judges but they give it to Dr. Cupcake because they didn't want a black man on stage, clearly. Ian could sing, Cupcake can't.

Kaitlyn and Cupcake get in their Aladdin costumes and prepare to hit the stage in front of a sold out audience. They walk out, stand there and smile, then walk off. No singing or dancing. Who normally has that part? That's got to be the easiest job on Broadway.

I see by the old clock on the TV set, there are but a few minutes left. Certainly no time for a rose ceremony. Again.

Nick rolls his bag through Times Square. He's ready to face the gauntlet just for the chance to get to know Kaitlyn. It's worth it to him. Plus, don't forget, more network TV face time.

Kaitlyn and Cupcake walk through the streets hand in hand. I was thinking they were going to run into Nick. But they don't. They walk up some stairs, and up, and up, until they get to the New Year's Eve ball. She kisses Cupcake quickly and gives him the rose. Then a longer kiss, but lacking the passionate kiss she gave Nick.

We take the long elevator ride with Nick and watch him walk down the hall to his/their room. "What's up, guys?" he says. And... scene.

So no rose ceremony. And judging by the upcoming highlights, next week is going to be a doozy, with the guys going after both Nick and Kaitlyn. Well, some of them, anyway. I hope she keeps him around.

The addendum was Britt and Brady as they romp on the beach. She says she's proud to call him her boyfriend. Okay, enough already.

Bachelorette Kaitlyn: Boys will be boys

Back for another week of Bachelorette Caitlyn... no wait, that's Kaitlyn. Sorry, there was a lot of news about another Caitlyn today. Got confused for a sec. Although... that would be pretty amazing to see Caitlyn Jenner as the next Bachelorette!

Oh, before I get going on the show, I mentioned last week that I had spoken to Nikki Glaser who assisted Amy Schumer at the comedy club last week (if you blinked, you missed her), but I didn't give you our conversation about the show because, well, I hadn't transcribed it at that point. But I have now. So even though it's old news, here's our brief chat about the show:

GM: You're going to be on The Bachelorette?

NG: Yeah, on Monday I'm going to be on The Bachelorette. Amy Schumer is one of my best friends and she did an episode where she teaches the guys how to do standup and she brings in three of her friends to coach them and I was one of those friends.

GM: I never miss an episode.

NG: Is that real?

GM: I blog about it.

NG: Oh, I love The Bachelor so much. It was a dream come true.

GM: I wasn't thrilled the Vancouver girl was chosen over Britt.

NG: Really?! Why?

GM: I just haven't warmed to her.

NG: She's pretty amazing. I couldn't believe they even entertained the idea of giving... I think they just wanted another opportunity to knock Britt down from her pedestal that she's been on her entire life. I couldn't believe that they even did that to her. That was so cruel. But I didn't want Britt as the Bachelorette. She's too perfect. You gotta have a little edge with your Bacherlorette or a little bit of relatability. At least for women. Britt is just like this angel that we've all hated since high school.

GM: But she doesn't wash her hair. She's not that perfect.

NG: Yeah, but no one really seemed to mind that. And it didn't seem to affect how gorgeous and how much Chris liked her until she was lying about wanting to live on a farm.

GM: We could talk about the Bachelor all day.

NG: Oh yeah, totally. I've been into it for the past three seasons.

GM: So you like Kaitlyn then.

NG: I like Kaitlyn. And meeting her, she was really funny and warm and nice and down to earth and all those things. She's cool. And I think the way that she interacts with the guys... If I went on that show, I would have a crush on one of them and then just not pay attention to the rest because that's how I operate. But she gives everyone equal attention, she's very flirty. She's a perfect Bachelorette. I think it's going to be a great season.

GM: And she has sex with somebody.

NG: Yeah, yeah. It's like, who cares? I mean, it's awesome but I didn't see the preview; I just heard about it. But the whole slut-shaming thing that's going on... Apparently she said I stand by what I did but I feel bad. I don't know what's going on. But yeah, I'm thrilled about that girl.

GM: Jillian Harris was another Vancouver Bachelorette.

NG: Oh yeah! Kaitlyn's Canadian comes out a little bit when she said something about being in 'elementary.' We call it 'elementary school' but I guess you guys call it 'elementary.' So I thought, oh, there's some Canadian!

GM: No, no, we call it elementary school.

NG: Really? What? That's weird.

GM: I thought you guys called it grade school.

NG: We call it grade school and elementary school.

GM: And we just call it elementary school.

NG: Okay. She just said 'elementary' and I thought maybe that's a... Because I know you guys say 'grade eight' and 'grade nine' and like that. That's always the one that gets me.

GM: But she did say Ben Zee instead of Ben Zed.

NG: Oh! I didn't know you guys said 'zed' instead of 'zee.'

GM: Yeah. Every English-speaking country in the world except the U.S. says 'zed'.

NG: Yeah, we're dumb like that.

GM: I bet the producers told her to say 'zee' so as not to confuse anyone.

NG: I'm sure. They're very good, those guys.

Not earth-shattering but keep in mind I wasn't talking to her to talk about the show. It was just an aside in talking about her career.

With that out of the way, let's go with Match-making for $100, please, Alex.

When we last were together, trouble was brewing outside when one gentleman was getting loud after getting sent home. I thought it was much ado about nothing but we'll see. Kupah is telling the producers, "Ask me the questions and let me go home." Kaitlyn to the rescue!

She says, "I could hear you screaming from the inside. I jut want to know what's going on." This quiets him. She tells him not to put on a different act. He tells her he didn't come here to go home. Unlike the others? Who goes there to get sent home. You've got no say in this one, Kupah. She tells him to accept it. He's creating an uncomfortable situation and nothing's going to change. He smiles and says, "I won't yell anymore. Promise." Trying to sweet talk her but she's having none of it. She walks away.

He turns to the camera and loudly stage whispers, "We're going to whisper now!" Then he says a few things I can't understand even on a couple of rewinds. Then this: "I honestly don't even like her right now." You tell her, Kupah! You can't fire me; I quit!

He finally gets in the limo. Inside the house, Kaitlyn tells us all the emotions she went through, all the way from "angry" to "very angry."

Kaitlyn takes the remaining guys inside and tells them she sent Kupah home because he was argumentative. Let that be a lesson to the rest. But then she says she wants people to be open and vocal with her. Presumably so it'll be easier to send them home when they are. Chris Harrison enters to tell them all it's time for the rose ceremony. A sombre mood casts a pall over the proceedings.

How many roses are being handed out? Who has one already? Why don't they do recaps on this show? It would make things easier for us recappers. Okay, I'll check myself... Turns out Zed the Bruiser, Rooftop Clint, and the Hockey Puck all have roses. The others go to:

1. Love-man Jared
2. Ben Aitch
3. Shawn (nickname pending)
4. Detroit Jonathan
5. Tissue Tanner
6. Dr. Cupcake
7. Brian? Ryan? No idea who this is.
8. Balloon Boy Justin
9. Run Ian Run
10. Steel-Rose Joshua
11. Moonshine Joe
12. Beach Volleyballer Corey
13. Tony the Healer

What's up with that? The Healer? Really? She wasn't very convincing when she called his name. Must have been one of the producers' picks.

Going home are Daniel and Cory. She calls him sweet and funny and says she's attracted to him. We know humour is a big part of her life and it's something she wants in a mate yet keeps the humourless Healer around.

Was that it? Only two went home? Let me go back and check things out. Hang on... Yup, only two went home because Kupah left early. So they're down from 19 to 16. Tight.

Bright and early the next morning, two sumo wrestlers ride up to the mansion on what I can only assume are four very flat tires. They sneak into the house and for a second I thought one of them was the great Konishiki, that's how round this fella is. But no, they're just anonymous sumos. To me, anyway. They yell and bang a gong. Get it on.

Full disclosure: I love sumo wrestling! Love it, I tell ya. If we had a weekly highlight package of sumo tournaments, I'd never miss it. I even attended a live basho once. I will not be making fun of these finely tuned athletes. I hope this segment is what it takes to put sumo on the American map.

Byamba (aka Ulambayaryn Byambajav from Mongolia) and Yama (aka Yamamotoyama Ryuta from Japan, who was forced to retire because of match-fixing) are two legit sumo wrestlers, not just some fatties they called up from Central Casting. Yama, though, is the heaviest Japanese sumo wrestler in history (Konishiki, who's heavier, is Hawaiian).

Yama opens a scroll and reads off the group date participants who get to learn the ancient sport. It's going to be Rooftop Clint, Dr. Cupcake, the Healer, the Hockey Puck, Moonshine Joe, and Shawn. The boys first need to strap on their mawashi, aka butt floss. Out of respect, of course.

Now I get that this is American network television, but if the sumo uniform is worn "out of respect," how is it at all respectful to pixilate their backsides? What are they pixilating? Butt cheeks! Kaitlyn calls them thong man-diapers but still thinks they're sexy. What does that say about her?

JJ the obnoxious Hockey Puck with the equally obnoxious shoulder tattoo comments on the Healer's "non-existent" ass. But Joe's boys were front and centre apparently. They, I understand, require pixilation. Kaitlyn told him they had just taken their relationship to a new level because she's "seen everything Joe has to offer."

This might have been the first group date in history where the non-date guys were present.

Rooftop Clint mentions in passing he has a background in wrestling. His face looks it, now that he mentions it. He thinks it will help him immensely... that is, until he meets up with the even more immense Byamba, who dispatches him in about a second.

Byamba, in fact, throws all comers out of the ring. Then it was the Healer's turn, who looked much too confident considering what he just witnessed. He said, "You want to see a fight? I'll give you a fight." He's got his hair in a top mini-ponytail, looking like a sumo. He says, "Typically I'm a pretty peaceful, balanced guy, but I don't think these guys know who they're fucking with. I would be absolutely fucking terrified if I were this other guy right now." Cut to commercial to build the fake tension.

Byamba toys with him for maybe ten seconds before the Healer slips and loses. He walks off sulking. Kaitlyn follows after him asking if he got injured. He ignores her and keeps walking. She asks, "Are you gonna talk to me?" He turns back all hangdog-like and says, after all that talk about how the others should be terrified of him, "I think that having to show aggression on every competition, I would have much rather go on something peaceful and loving because that's who I am." Kaitlyn says, "Well, you didn't have to do that." He replies, "No, I'm here for you, Kaitlyn, I really am. And I want to be here. I want to show you the multiple sides of me. I view the world through the eyes of a child." (This is a good thing?) "I have the heart of a warrior and the spirit of a gypsy and I want you to see all those many sides of me. Can we not just do something fun? How come it always has to be around aggression?" He says this standing there in his mawashi.

Fun guy, right?! Now I see why Kaitlyn gave him that rose!

She tells him she has a very adventurous fun side. She said, rightly, it wasn't about violence to her. She just thought it would be a fun way to laugh at themselves and then later sit down and have a conversation. This is where any normal guy would nod and say they over-reacted. But the Healer is no normal guy. He maintains that they could have fun in a non-violent way. "Am I the only one who sees that there are many other ways to connect and to have fun? Can we not, say, take a boat ride? Or go sky-diving?"

The Hockey Puck enters into the fray, telling the Healer he's stressing Kaitlyn out. The peaceful, loving Healer points his finger and says, "You get the fuck out of here right now."

The other guys think the Healer is nuts, but they thought JJ the Puck shouldn't have gone over and added fuel to the fire. Everyone goes to their corners. Kaitlyn tells the others she'll be right back. Sounds like someone's going home.

The Healer is sitting up on a balcony with Run Ian Run. Kaitlyn joins them and says she never wants anyone to feel uncomfortable. Aw, she's not going to send him home. Boo. The Healer won't let it go: "I have worked very hard in my advancement, emotionally and spiritually and physically. And I can't find happiness by reverting back to my primal instincts." Then he exhales forcefully. Run Ian Run calmly says they understand where he's coming from but he's not demonstrating it well. Nothing registers with the Healer. He continues: "I have a lot to offer and I just want that opportunity to show that." Then to drive his point home, he turns his head and hocks a loogie at the wall.

The reasonable Run Ian Run tells him he has more to offer than this and suggests he dial it back a bit. Kaitlyn reiterates that it's just fun but he never has to do anything he doesn't want to do. Instead of dialling it back a bit, he dials it up a notch and says, "I'm here. I still want to be here. But I want you to see the real me. The man that I am, the man that I'm capable of being, and the strength that I truly have, not to just have to prove myself for the possibility of a date." She tells him he's free to sit out anything and she won't judge him for it (meaning she will definitely judge him for it and has already judged him for it, as we all have). Then she hugs him! What the hell is she doing?! He tells her again, "I'm here for you. And I want to show you another side of me." He is scowling.

Kaitlyn wants him to take some time to think about whether this is something he can handle or even wants to do. What about you, Kaitlyn?! I don't think you can handle him and you shouldn't want him around. Kupah was sent away for a lot less than this nonsense.

Thankfully the Healer didn't spoil the whole sumo show. There's going to be a basho after all! Everyone else is game. Will the Healer be?

The men arrive in their robes riding bikes. I honestly don't know the connection between sumo and bicycles but it's adorable.

The Healer isn't one of the competitors. He decided to stay and home and simmer peacefully. It's a round-robin affair. The first match is the Hockey Puck vs Moonshine Joe. It's a good match, too! See, what did I tell you about this sport? Exciting, right? Joe takes down the cocky Puck. (I think I just stumbled onto a new nickname for JJ: Cocky Puck.) But actually, upon further review, I can't see how Joe was declared the winner. Cocky Puck spun him in the air and landed on top of him outside the ring.

Next up is Moonshine Joe again vs Rooftop Clint. Is this the same Joe? I'm confused. Clint picks Joe up a couple times and throws him to the ground outside the ring. Shawn says, "We get it, Clint. You were a wrestler in college. Take it easy, dude."

We cut away from the action to hear what the Healer has to say. He's still sitting on the balcony. He tells Detroit Jonathan, "If she wants to take me on a one-on-one date, then I'm more than willing to dedicate my time. If she wants me to defend her, I'll be more than willing. But this 'Who's got the biggest dick' contest is fucking primal and I'm done with it. Why can't we go to the zoo? Seriously. Can we go to the fucking zoo? Like, you know, imitate animals? Who makes the best elephant noise? I can't sit here and do this shit anymore. I'm totally done." He swings his legs back toward the house.

He packs his hockey bag and leaves. He wants no part of this. Verging on tears, he tells the camera, "I'm not a quitter; I'm walking away on my terms." He gets in the car and heads to meet Kaitlyn so he can (presumably) say goodbye to her in person.

Kaitlyn walks up in leather pants. He hands her a daisy, saying he picked it for her. Then he mumbles his mantra, "I'm here for the right reasons but I just can't participate in this circus anymore. You're an amazing person and I know for a fact you will find the happiness you so desire. But if you're truly interested in what's inside my heart, I'm easily found. So thank you for this time." And again she hugs him! What is up with her? She should have just turned and walked away.

The Healer's gone off to the zoo to make animal noises and Kaitlyn doesn't seem too upset. The post-basho party... Wait a second! We only saw two matches! It was good! Who won? Boo again.

The Cocky Puck is lusting over the leather panted one, but Rooftop Clint says he's going to play hard to get. It's the right move, he's convinced, after the date they had. He thinks if she's interested, she should put forth the effort.

After some alone time with the former investment banker Cocky Puck, Kaitlyn returns to the sofa and sits right beside Clint, and under his outstretched arm. She looks expectantly at him and he faces the other way. Shawn jumps in to take her away. Cocky Puck is convinced this is the wrong decision.

Shawn tells her he's never fallen so hard, so quick for somebody before. They kiss. She rushes off to get the rose. The kissing felt right and passionate. She gives the rose to Shawn and Rooftop Clint is frustrated. He says she had the time to grab him for a minute if she wanted to talk to him. For her part, she thinks Clint put in no effort and is trying to be too cool. But effort is a two-way street, m'lady.

She addresses Clint right there on the sofa in front of the others: "Clint, I don't know what happened to you today. I took you on the first one-on-one date and you ignore me all day and don't even talk to me tonight. So that's a problem." He just says, "Alright."

He tells the camera he's coming to the realization that Kaitlyn's probably not the right girl for him. He's under no illusions that the relationship is working out, but he's liking the relationships he has with some of the guys, especially Cocky Puck, who he describes as "a real sweetheart." And a bromance begins. Maybe even more than that.

Next up a twist: Kaitlyn gets a date card from Chris Harrison. He tells her to be prepared for anything. It's the same card for Zed. Kaitlyn didn't even know which guy she'd be going with.

Turns out they're going to a live escape room, which are all the rage these days. They'll be trapped in the basement with only one way out. They have to work together, find clues and solve them to get the code that will unlock the door. They open the door and pigeons fly at her face. Judging by her scream, I don't think Kaitlyn likes birds. It's her worst fear, she says. She'd rather be in a pit of snakes. She panics if she just hears a bird or it's walking near her.

A graphic appears on screen telling us that "The animals and insects have been added and are not normally part of this experience." Good to know should I ever decide to do one, which I wouldn't anyway, but there'd be even less of a chance with birds and creepy-crawlies. Because I may not be as terrified as Kaitlyn, but birds just creep me the hell out. When friends let their parakeet out of the cage, I turtle it when I hear those flapping wings near my head.

It's like a glorified carnival haunted house. There's blood on the walls and limbs hanging down. They open one room and there's the pit of snakes! Real ones. Be careful what you wish for, Kaitlyn. Zed is the one freaking out now. They need to find the password for the computer within 45 minutes or gas will be emitted. And the password needs to be at least six (6) characters. They find a black light in the snake-infested toilet and that's allows them to find the password: ROSES. It works! Even though that's only five (5) characters. Details, details. They manage to get the code to freedom just as the gas is pumped in.

Zed says they're definitely not going to have a bird after they're married.

Now it's romance time after that scary date. They drink red wine back at her place. He tells her he's not really afraid of snakes and she mocks him. He then tells her he hasn't cried in 11 years. Humble-brag. It'll happen when it happens, he believes.

They end the date in the hot tub where she gives him the rose.

The next group date is at an elementary school. She waits on a swing for the bus carrying the six gentlemen. They're going to be substitute sex education teachers. Because sex education isn't embarrassing enough for kids, let's get some amateurs to explain things to a class full of boys and girls together.

They're each given their respective lesson plans.

But before we get to that, let's get to the sex education back at the house between Rooftop Clint and Cocky Puck. We see them lounging shirtless on the couch with Cocky Puck's little cocky puck blacked out. They talk about squeezing each other's back zits in the shower. Then Cocky Puck says, "It was a beautiful snake, by the way. Like Mr. Perfect." It's described as a budding bromance but it's portrayed as something more deep and meaningful. Now I get that Clint was a wrestler. Wrestling has been described as homo-erotic before. Makes sense now.

Ryan is the first "teacher." Ah, so this is Ryan. Never seen him before in my life. Anyway, he grabs a model of the female anatomy. He points out the vagina (twice), the anus and the "butt." Nothing is pixilated. Yet male butt cheeks are. Go figure.

One kid asks about the "clit." It was bleeped out but I'm pretty sure that's what he said. Ryan repeats it and says, "If you want girls to like you, you should know where it is." Yes, just exactly what you would and should hear in an elementary school mixed-gender health class. "It's what's stimulated on the female and that's what makes her want to have sex with you again." I do believe some lawsuits will arise out of this by some angry parents. Then again, this is Hollywood, so maybe not.

Jonathan solicits questions. One girl asks what the four bases are. He explains. First base is kissing, second base is "a little bit of touchy-feely, maybe over the clothes." He's interrupted by, "What's a homerun?" Then, "How many positions are there for having sex?"

Ah, they're being pranked, Kaitlyn reveals to us. These are all child actors. Good one. Other questions: What is a wet dream? What's a condom? The thing is, child actors are still children. It's not like they can just forget what they heard.

Joshua then tells the girls that the lining of their uterus is going to shed about once a month. He demonstrates inserting a tampon on the anatomy dummy. This is blacked out.

Ben Aitch starts with a story. He tells them about two people falling in love. He tells them about the sperm's long journey to the eggs. He brings Kaitlyn up. She represents the ovaries. He represents the single sperm that makes its way to her. His presentation was clearly the best. And he was good with kids, too.

At the post-class gathering, Joshua says he was so shy in school he didn't have his first kiss until college. He had no idea how to approach girls. Kaitlyn is dumbstruck. To the camera she says, "Dude, you gotta step it up. Time's a-tickin'." No kiss this time, either.

Kaitlyn tells Ben Aitch he stood out today. He says he worked at a youth centre for a long time. He seems nice and sincere. They kiss and slow dance. He dips her back, kissing. "He's romantic, he's passionate, and he knows how to kiss," says Kaitlyn.

But back to the burgeoning romance between JJ and Clint. Rooftop Clint says he feels he's connected more to the Cocky Puck than he has to Kaitlyn. "We're just so similar," he says. "It's actually absolutely insane. I never thought I'd meet someone like that here. We've grown very close. Almost too close, I think, at times in the room and stuff like that. And the shower! The possibility of coming onto the Bachelorette and falling in love with a man never crossed my mind, but I believe in process and at this point I'm a success story."

Okay, this is interesting. Clearly there must be something up in the editing, but he very clearly said, "falling in love with a man." What is it? Clint seems to be the one doing all the talking. The Cocky Puck may not know what's happening.

I'm hesitant to even talk about this as a real relationship because we've been tricked too many times by the editors. But let's consider it for a moment before any revelation. It's inconceivable a completely straight man would go on the show and then just accidentally fall in love with another dude. A bi guy might, though. Maybe that was his plan. If you were gay/bi and wanted a relationship with another man, where could you go to be around 24 other hot studs day and night? Aha!

Kaitly, meanwhile, takes Love-Man Jared back to her room. He gets the special treatment. They kiss. "Everything Jared does makes him more attractive... Of all the guys, this one is a man and I just love that." Then more slow dancing to no music.

But only one man can get the rose and it goes to Ben Aitch. Love-Man looks hurt. But he says he doesn't need a rose to validate what they have together. That's right. He just needs one to advance to the next round.

Cocktail party time. With only ten minutes left, we might see another cliffhanger.

More with the one-sided bromance. He says, "This week things didn't go great. Kaitlyn not coming to talk to me. I kind of in the back of my head knew that she wasn't the right girl for me. But I love JJ. He has made my time in the house insanely enjoyable. So I need to get a rose from Kaitlyn, yeah." Um, what? I guess so he can be near his beloved Cocky Puck. But what if Clint gets a rose and JJ doesn't?

So with that, Clint is the first to take Kaitlyn outside for some alone time. She liked that. Showing some initiative! He tells her that during the sumo date, "that big boy adjusted my diaper so many times that my balls actually got lodged up inside of me so when we went on the night date, I didn't have the balls to talk to you." She laughs. He apologizes for his own insecurities. She buys it. Then he initiates full-on lip action. All good so far. Then he had to go and spoil it all by telling us, "I'm not really interested in Kaitlyn but I need a rose tonight."

Back with the Cocky Puck, Clint tells him, "It's funny how cute you are and how beautiful your jawline is." JJ laughs nervously.

Clint tells us yet again, "I love JJ. I feel I've connected with JJ more than Kaitlyn. And I want to stay here so it actually made me want to fight for this more."

It's unclear whether this love talk is brotherly or carnal, but they're certainly leading us down the path that it's a sexual love.

The dynamic duo continue their cryptic talk. Clint tells JJ, "She's smart enough to know who you are and who I am." They clink glasses with, "Hey, villain's gotta villain."

The intense stare of JJ, the former investment banker, is disturbing. He says the other guys are just lemmings "and one by one they'll walk right off the cliff because I'm chasing them." And this, "I feel like it's boys versus men right now and I'm dealing with a bunch of JV croquet players." Good thing his kid is too young to watch this. But we do have an idea why he's single even though he has a three-year-old.

It's pretty clear now that JJ the Cocky Puck and Rooftop Clint are plants. Joshua tells Kaitlyn these two are bad news, but he's not the only one. She says she's heard those names from others and implies that she's going to send them packing. She moves with purpose.

She grabs Clint and leads him out. Her voice-over says he's "one of the biggest douches in Bachelor history." And... cliffhanger.

From the upcoming highlights we see that she does kick him out and he comes back and confronts the guys. Hey, villain's gotta villain!