Bachelor Ben: Unfounded confidence lost

And we are continuing with the To Be Continued. Will Olivia be sent home or not? I'm on record as saying Not. No way. She's not done for. Ben asked to speak to her before the ceremony, but she has a rose. It ain't happening. Let's see if I'm right.

Ben is asking Olivia what her side of the story is. He's concerned that she's not connecting with the other women. Olivia feels like she can't win. Everyone is into painting their nails and doing each other's hair. She, on the other hand, prefers reading books in her room and thinking. Or as she puts it, "I wanna talk... smart... things." Well said.

She realizes she comes off as intimidating but it's because she's really confident. But she breaks down and cries like someone not so confident.

And as expected, she comes back with rose in hand. He tells them he enjoys and appreciates each one of them. They're all different. Well, now that one of the twins is gone anyway.

The remaining Twin is angry that Olivia is still there. Olivia talks tough, telling the camera, "Come at me, bro... Everybody else can suck it."

Now we're at that point we all hate: a rose ceremony to start the show. Who is already pre-rosed? Olivia for one. Who else? Must be Amanda and Lauren H. The others go to:

1. Caila, naturally
2. Lauren B., whichever one she is.
3. JoJo
4. Becca, the virgin
5. Leah. Who? Has she had any camera time this season?
6. Twin

So the Twin gets one. Meaning Bennifer is going home. What? One woman? Much ado about nothing, methinks.

All right, pack your bags. We're going to the Bahamas.

There will be three dates: 1-on-1, group date, and the dreaded 2-on-1.

Hey, speak of the devil. Leah gets some camera time. But she doesn't get the one-on-one date. That goes to the terminally sweet and cute Caila. Leah is speechless, much like she's been all season. She's questioning everything. At least she's figured out how to get some airtime: tears.

Ben comes in to get Caila and sits down next to Leah. It would have been perfect if he had introduced himself, like, "Hi, I'm Ben. I don't think we've met."

Caila and Ben are going deep sea fishing, one of his favourite activities. They set off on a big fancy boat. Leah bawls back at the hotel. I can't be too sympathetic because we get to see Caila in a bikini hauling in a big fish.

Okay, Leah, stop. Get a hold of yourself.

Ben calls Caila funny, beautiful, sexy, smart, but he wants to get to know her below the surface. He tells her she smiles a lot, and he guesses she smiles through tough times. But he's looking for someone who cries through tough times. Careful what you wish for, buddy.

She tells him she's not sure if she's ready to cry on his shoulder. She feels put on the spot. He understands. She tells him she feels like she loves him, but she doesn't know why she can't share. She thinks maybe she's not ready. Her greatest fear is that she can't totally completely fall in love with someone. Her greatest fear is breaking his heart. Not sounding good.

He thinks he might be saying goodbye to her tonight. If so, let's start the Caila for Bachelorette campaign now!

He wants to know what exactly she's feeling, if she thinks he's not the right person. She admits to being a confusing person. But she talks her way out of it. We know this because hopeful music starts playing. Ben melts. She feels real happiness. He thinks it's attracted to her confusion. It's authentic. So she gets the rose and we can breathe a sigh of relief.

Earlier I made reference to Ben looking like a young Tom Cruise. In this episode, he's looking like Peter Brady.

It's group date time. And another boat date. They hint at Jaws but instead get swimming pigs. Looks like they're feeding them weiners. Is that appropriate? Isn't that cannibalism?

JoJo is struggling with the group date dynamic. Ben thinks she should get how it's awkward for everyone. It's awkward especially for Leah, who was expecting the one-on-one. And she tells him that, too, tearfully. She feels like a group date groupie. She tells Ben she's human. Ben gets that she's human. They hug but she goes back and cries some more to the others saying Ben is an idiot for not giving her a chance.

At night, Leah feels like she's going home. Boo-hoo.

Ben grabs Becca first. He tells her he felt like she was standoffish with him today. She cops to it. But she says she really, really likes him and they kiss.

Everyone seems to think Lauren B. is the frontrunner on the date. Is she the flight attendant or the kindy-garten teacher? I mixed them up last episode. Get rid of one of them.

Leah tells Ben she thinks Lauren B. is different in the house than she is towards him. Is she making that up? Have we seen evidence of this? Lauren B. walks in on them. Timing is everything. Oh, and Lauren B. is the flight attendant.

Ben confronts the flight attendant. She doesn't get it. The thought gets in his head and he doesn't know what to do with it. If I were her, I'd ask Ben to canvas all the other women to find out what they think.

Lauren B. tells the others what was said. Leah gives a perplexed look, like that's crazy talk, and says, "Well, I didn't say anything." Okay, Leah, we're onto you now. Leah says, "I would never be the type of person to single somebody out." Clearly the others should rush to Lauren B's defence.

Rose time. I bet it goes to Leah. Nope. It goes to Amanda, who takes a whiff of helium before saying, "Thank you!"

Leah is relieved Lauren B didn't get the rose, but she didn't get one herself so says she'll have to do something more extreme. Classy.

Amanda, while stroking Twin's arm, who's lying in bed, suspects it was Leah. Now Leah knocks on Ben's door to make him believe it was Lauren B. Even classier. She figures if someone goes home, it increases her chances of staying. But I don't think she's thought this through. If she somehow bypassed all the others and won the whole thing, Ben would find out while watching the season play out on TV, and he'd dump her in a second.

The camera just happens to be on Ben sitting by himself in his room when Leah knocks on the door. Ben pours them some wine and she gets down to business. Her sociopathic tendencies come shining through. She says there are situations with Lauren that she doesn't care as much she lets on to him. She's totally lying. I think that's a Bachelor first. She says, "I'm not here to sabotage your relationship with somebody." Except that's exactly what she's doing. But Ben sees through her. He doesn't want to sit there and talk about Lauren B. with her. Good for him. Good guy, that Ben.

He tells her something just doesn't feel right. She says, "Really?" He sends her home! Backfire! Ah, sweet karma. He must have been tipped off. Does he now discount everything he heard about Lauren B?

"I literally did not see that coming," she says. She feels foolish but thinks Ben is the fool for letting her go. He thinks he has no idea who she is. Boy, ain't that the truth!

Twin 1 calls Twin 2 to rub it in that she's in the Bahamas. Ugly Toes thinks Twin 1 is a child, but they're the same age. She knows it, too, but still thinks she'll feel like the mom on the two-on-one.

Olivia is almost giddy because it's her first "almost one-on-one." That's glass-half-full thinking! Twin 1 is terrified. It's another boat ride. I guess there's only so much to do in the Bahamas. It's stormy out there. Here's hoping one of them throws up.

They sit on the windy beach and drink white wine. Ben takes Olivia away first. She buries her ugly toes in the sand as they sit and talk. Smart move. She tells Ben she's more of an introvert and she's at peace with that. She's very grounded. She tells him she's really strong and confident. "Deep... intellectual... things are just... my jam." I think Aristotle said that first.

Her confidence grows even more. "From here on out, hometowns, whatever, it's all a breeze," she says. She's so in love with him. She thinks he's given her more validation that anyone else. She's getting the rose (in her mind, anyway).

Next up is Twin 1's turn. She wants this date to be the turning point. She's very serious. She knows she has a lot of growth "and stuff" in front of her. He walks her back without a kiss.

Ben picks up the rose then takes Olivia away with it. Emily is heartbroken and devastated. That means Emily will get it. Let's see.

Ben tells Olivia she was able to speak from her heart. She looks hopeful until he says he doesn't think he can reciprocate his feelings. So he tells her he can't give her the rose he's holding and has to say goodbye. What is going through her mind now? And will we get to see her toes?

He goes back to Emily and says he doesnt' want to stop this journey with her. She accepts the rose and squeals as Olivia stands motionless 50 feet away. Ben and Olivia Emily get on the boat and leave, while Olivia stands still with her toes buried in the sand, all alone. Poor kid.

Ben doesn't feel like talking to anyone at the cocktail party. He sends in his henchman, Chris Harrison, to let them know.

Here we go. Three roses to give out. Twin 1, Squeaky Amanda and Cute Caila already have a rose. The rest go to:

1. Virgin Becca
2. JoJo was a man who thought he was a loner
3. Lauren B the flight attendant

Finally, one of the Laurens is gone. I liked the other one, but there's only room for one Lauren. The kindy-garten teacher goes back to the kiddies. She doesn't really get it. She thought she'd be great for him. She's feeling like she's never going to fall in love.

In the upcoming highlights Twin 1 says she can't believe she just met Ben's parents. So there goes that surprise. Looks like in the final he pulls a Jason Mesnick and sends the girl he loves more home, then calls her up to make things right. I love it when the show provides its own spoilers.

No, I don't.

See you next week.

Bachelor Ben: To Be Continued

Oh hi. What are you doing here?

Right. The TV show. Gotcha. Sorry this is a bit late. I wasn't near a computer last night. But I was watching and jotted down some notes.

This was another one of those annoying TBC episodes. The three most hated words in television: To. Be. Continued.

Really? Do we need this? Does anyone think Ben is going to rescind the rose to Olivia? Not a chance. They didn't show her in the upcoming highlights but I think we heard her. And someone next week says, "How could he be falling for this act she's putting on?" Who else could they be referring to?

I gotta say as annoying as old Ugly Toes Stank Breath Olivia has been, I think last night she was at her least annoying. Sure, you could use the Teen Mom quote against her, but I got the real sense she just misspoke. It's a show she obviously watches and maybe Amanda's descriptions of the comings and goings of single motherhood aligned with some situations on that other reality show. You could tell as soon as she said it she realized what she said.

So I'll cut her some slack on that one. I won't cut her slack for constantly attaching herself to Ben's side. That being said, if I were Bachelor (and don't you all think I should be?!), I would institute some rules and interrupting and such. On the group date, for instance. They were grouped into pairs. Since there were 9 women, that meant Ben would have to be a partner. If I were him, I'd either grab someone I hadn't had much time with or I'd pull names from a hat to pair everyone up. Whatever. Don't just go with the first loudmouth who pops up. Maybe I'd go with the person who said nothing. I dunno, but come up with something.

Love how the show started with a creepy cameraman with night-vision lurking in the women's bedrooms while they slept. It was 4:19 am and Ben was there to collect Amanda. We saw all sorts of bed heads and puffy eyes and retainers. But Amanda woke up sparkly, perky and fresh. Probably because the mother-of-two is used to being woken up at all hours of the morning.

She and Ben went hot air ballooning. Has that been a date in past seasons? I'm thinking it was. They were in Mexico City and were flying off to... wherever the wind took them, I guess. In this case it was ancient pyramids. (Are there any other kind?) Seeing flames and wicker so close together freaks me out. There's no way I'd go up in one of those.

Amanda, like many of the "blondes" on the show, are getting less and less blonde as the series progresses.

She talked about her bad first marriage and how she found text messages on her husband's old phone with many girlfriends. She felt like a failure. Ben couldn't understand how someone "out there" would "wrap [her] up and love on [her]." Love on her? Eww!

I love how Emily is still called "Twin" on her graphic.

Jubilee sealed her fate on the group date by being a sour puss. I still don't get how people (men and women) come on this show and not get how they're going to be but one of many girlfriends or boyfriends of the star. There was an ESL (Español as a Second Language) component to the date, with Ben declaring his love in Spanish for each of the girls. Jubes was having none of it. It was all too insincere for her.

Then the pairs competition alluded to earlier. They were to go out to the market with their newfound language skills and gather ingredients for a dish, and then cook it up. I'm wondering who'll be the first to get Montezuma's Revenge. I guess that comes with drinking the water. And they stuck to Tequila so they were safe.

Jubes and her partner (I forget who) won the cook-off but it didn't help her any. She was in full pout mode, and that's never appetizing.

JoJo's taco wasn't as delicious as she thought. The editors had a field day with JoJo and her taco. "I'm really excited for the chefs to taste my taco," she said. And "I know my taco is delicious." Duly noted.

At night, Ben would take one of them off for some alone time, hand in hand. But after roaming the streets for ages with Lauren H., kissing all the way, Jubes was in no mood to be fake holding hands when Ben called on her. This rubbed Ben the wrong way and he sent her on her way. "I'm like the most unloveable person in the world right now," Jubes said, stealing a line from sad-sack Ben last season.

I'm just relieved Ben and Lauren H. made it back safely without getting kidnapped or shot.

As Ben struggled to find the words to tell the others about Jubes getting the old heave-ho, JoJo interrupted him and asked to take him aside. I was thinking maybe she wanted him to taste her taco. No, they just kissed. But the rose went to Ugly Toes Stank Breath because Ben felt they reconnected on the date.

The last one-on-one went to the kindy-garten teacher Lauren H. She's a down-home girl with a sense of humour and a loving goofiness. They went to a fashion show. She actually thought that was the extent of their date. Oh dear sweet naive Lauren H. This show doesn't just send people on dates to watch something. Of course she'd be part of the experience, despite her only experience walking is when she takes her charges out to recess. She felt rather "unsecure." In her defense, "insecure" probably isn't a word used much in her kindergarten class.

But she and Ben both looked like they belonged on the runway, proving just how easy being a runway model is, providing you're not hideous and know how to put one foot in front of the other.

She also revealed that her 4-year relationship came to a close after her boyfriend cheated on her with three different girls. If there's anything to dissuade a guy from cheating on his wife or girlfriend, maybe this show is helping. Cheat and risk your ex getting on national TV and exposing your jerky behaviour to the world.

Lauren H. obviously got the rose, too.

At the cocktail party, several women felt the need to rat out Olivia to Ben, giving him pause. Usually I'm all for this kind of behaviour because the villain is more villainous. In this case, Olivia is a bit much but doesn't seem to be so horrible, all things considered. But when Chris Harrison enters to ding his glass, signalling the end of the cocktail party and start of the rose ceremony, Ben asks to first speak to Olivia.

And that's where they left us. I'm pretty confident the Big O will be with us again next week. You? What do you think?

Oh, by the way, I'd Tweet more from my @BachelorBlogger account if I had more followers. Just sayin'.

Like the show, this blog is To Be Continued, too.

Bachelor Ben: Talent on display

Welcome back. I had a comment last week from CNoelle, who does her own Bachelor blog here, asking if I actually enjoyed the show or just enjoyed making fun of it. I've been mulling it over. It's a really good question. I enjoy much of it and I really dislike lots of it. I like the genuine people (or at least those that fake it well) and truly detest the phoney aspects of the show. Maybe it's 40-60? Hard to say, though.

She also asked if my assertion that the producers make some of the picks was really true. Obviously I'm not an insider. I don't really know. But there's no way I can believe some of the batshit crazy contestants getting selected (usually last) over some great women. There's no other explanation except that the producers prefer to have "dramatic" situations over generally nice contestants, so they either make the choice outright or somehow influence the decision.

Okay, questions answered. On with the show!

The two to watch are Jubilee and Olivia. They're the ones the others girls don't like. The twins are just... twins. They're insignificant. There for the novelty. They do everything together, including the treadmill. As in the same treadmill at the same time. And Ben doesn't try to pry them apart. They go on all the group dates together.

This week they're all in the "marriage capital of the world," Las Vegas, Nevada.

They walk into a "sky suite" and it's "unlike anything" the kindergarten teacher from Ann Arbor, Michigan, has ever seen in her life. Go figure.

JoJo gets the one-on-one date. Olivia isn't sweating it because she feels so good about what she and Ben have. But her eyes say otherwise when she watches Ben take JoJo away.

A helicopter arrives as the other girls watch from the room. The wind from the copter blows over the table. Ben and JoJo hide behind it and kiss. Now reality hits Olivia. The roller coaster has begun.

JoJo and Ben don't take in any of the sights from on high. They're too busy kissing.

The group date card is read and Olivia is on it. She's not happy. But let's get back to JoJo. No idea about their date. We're at the nighttime portion already and they're sitting and talking. Somewhere. JoJo is talking about her 1.5-year-long relationship. There were trust issues. Ben is looking like this is the most traumatic story ever. It ends with more kissing, as every good traumatic story does.

JoJo says she was scared opening up about her past. Maybe I missed it. Didn't seem like anything unusual at all. She gets a rose. Because this date is so edited down, it must mean there's lots of drama coming up elsewhere. Let's get to it!

But the date isn't over. They head to the balcony and watch fireworks. So special. Only Ben, JoJo and the rest of the city of Las Vegas could see them.

Now the group date and (probably) Olivia drama. It's Caila's first group date. The gang meets Terry Fator, a ventriloquist impersonator. No, he doesn't impersonate a ventriloquist. Rather, he does impressions through his puppets. But they're not there to learn ventriloquism. Or impressions. It's a talent show. The twins learned Irish dancing  and Jubilee plays the cello so they're set, but many of the others are struggling to find their talents. Many think Olivia has a secret talent. As long as it doesn't involve her feet, I'm sure she'll be okay.

One thing I love about Terry Fator is that he gives his dummy a microphone. A dummy microphone, I'm sure, but a microphone. I always thought it was a mistake when the ventriloquist got a mic but the dummy didn't, yet we heard them both equally. Before you take any shots at me, I know what ventriloquism is. But we're supposed to buy into the reality that there are two people talking up there. So thumbs up to Mr. Fator for recognizing this.

Olivia's talent is impersonating a Vegas showgirl. She tells us she shaved this morning so that's all taken care of. Not sure what she thinks Vegas showgirls do. They're usually topless, not bottomless. Maybe to go along with her ugly toes, she's got a hairy chest.

They're going to perform in front of 1200 people. Hope they got in free.

Caila is still terminally cute. Olivia is still too much.

Haley and Emily are first up. They are pretty good. I mean, all things considered. And Jubilee knows her way around the cello. Then we see some juggling, hula hooping, balloon animals, pogo jumping, and a whole lot of other non-talent. Then finally it's Olivia's turn. A giant cake is wheeled out. She pops out in her bikini and garter belt and starts... dancing? Kicking her legs? Shimmying? She's laughing, anyway. But clearly the least talented of a very non-talented bunch. After the show backstage she has a meltdown. Everything you want in a news anchor and more.

She's weeping that she doesn't know if she can do "this." She's taking this realization that she has no talent pretty hard. She's embarrassed for herself that she didn't show herself off to be marriage material.

Who knew the most talented of the group would be the Ditz sisters?

The cute, sweet, innocent Caila turns into a "sex panther" when alone with Ben. She just grabs him and rams her tongue down his throat.

Ben grabs a puppet and talks with Lauren H. She kisses the puppet. Then Ben. She says, "Little Ben is way bigger than I expected." A penis joke from the kindergarten teacher.

The group date rose is hanging in the balance. Olivia thinks she may be out of the running. But it's showing vulnerability and may help her in the long run. She tells Ben she's not good at being showy or sexy. He tells her she shouldn't be embarrassed because it wasn't bad at all. But she sees through his comforting. She feels like things have changed. She thought the conversation was as awkward as her performance. It was the first time they've talked and not kissed. She "400 percent" needs to see him again.

So she gets up and goes to see Ben again when he's been talking to Emily for three minutes. Has he kissed either of the twins? Olivia tells Ben she wants to start over. He tells her she doesn't need to apologize and she finally gets her kiss. All while standing. She's relieved.

Now it's rose time. It goes to Lauren B., the flight attendant. He hugs her with another girl sitting between them.

Next up is Becca's giant box. Did we know she was going on a one-on-one? Well, she is, apparently. The box contains a wedding dress. Jubilee says Becca's the perfect person to wear white. "If she hasn't lost it in 26 years, I doubt it's going to happen in six hours. Just sayin'," she says.

Becca is driven in a pink Cadillac convertible to a wedding chapel. Ben gets down on one knee and says, "Becca, will you marry... other people with me today." You see, he's been ordained. She's ecstatic for his misdirection. She didn't want to have to say yes to Ben. That's what she said! Why is she even there?

The first couple enters the chapel. Becca helps with the ceremony, but is she ordained, too? Is this on the up-and-up? But Ben's doing a bang-up job. Looks like Chris Harrison has some competition in the cheesy wedding competition.

After their marriages, Ben and Becca go to the neon museum. They sit down and he tries to find out if Becca's capable of loving and feeling. "It's good to feel. I want you to feel," says Ben. What's he getting at? They talk about virginity. He asks if it's been hard for her. (It has.) He equates her commitment to God and virginity to marriage, which is also a commitment. So he knows she's serious. And they kiss and make vows to each other. He makes vows to her to look her in the eyes, to smile when it's appropriate, to be honest and open, and to take her on the coolest dates. Her vows to him are to always tell him he's great, to make sure he knows she's in this, to always express how she's feeling when she's feeling it. And they kiss some more like they mean it, like it's leading somewhere. But I'm not buying her vows. She gets the rose, though.

When she said yes to the rose, her teeth looked to me like dentures.

It's rose ceremony night but Chris Harrison arrives to say Emily and Haley are going to spend the day with Ben. That means one's going home. Which is not far, since they're from Las Vegas. It's going to be an early hometown.

Ben goes into Haley's bedroom (or maybe Emily's, who can tell?) and she's embarrassed that there are a bunch of photos up of her and her old boyfriend. Whoops.

Emily's talking too much. She's sounding desperate. She says she has a stronger connection than Haley. She's throwing her sister under the proverbial bus. Ben thinks he has a stronger connection with one of them, too. I wonder which one.

The mom says Emily is more dominant. I bet Ben chooses Haley.

He sits them down on the couch, with mom right there. Nope, I was wrong. Ben says goodbye to Haley. Finally he kisses one of the twins in the limo.

At the cocktail party, Olivia changes history, saying the group date ended badly. Did she forget the kiss? But Jenn takes Ben first. Not for long, though. Olivia gets up to interrupt them. "I don't care about anyone else's relationship with Ben. I don't care," she says. She thinks they need to progress and move forward.

She brings Ben some cheesecake. The other girls aren't happy, but why don't they go interrupt her? Caila asks Jenn if she now wishes she had gone last instead of first, giving the impression that they're each allowed one one-on-one meeting with Ben at the party. I wish they'd lay these rules out so we knew them. And are there rules about when someone can interrupt? There should be, and we should know what they are. Either way, Olivia gets her full time. No one interrupts.

Olivia tells JoJo that she told Ben she's falling for Ben. We have no evidence of that. Did it happen? Not sure. JoJo says she'd never say that unless it was reciprocated. Olivia doesn't blink and says, "It was." Okay, that was a lie.

Who is pre-rosed? JoJo, Lauren B., and Becca. Olivia speaks in the third-person saying, "Olivia's here to stay. She's not going anywhere." She's talking trash throughout the ceremony. The other roses go in order to:

1. Amanda
2. Lauren H.
3. Jubilee
4. Emily
5. Caila, naturally (I want her to be the next Bachelorette)
6. Jenn
7. Leah
8. Olivia

Remember, last pick is always producers' pick! (Unless it isn't.)

Rachel, one of the unemployed ones, goes home. I have zero recollection of her whatsoever. The 30-year-old matronly Amber takes off her shoes and cries curled up in a ball: "I don't want to be hurt again." Is that it? Only two cut? I guess three with Haley, too, but still.

Next week they're in Mexico. In the teasers, we hear Ben saying maybe there's a side of Olivia he hasn't seen yet. They're always the last to know, aren't they?