Week 4: Aw, Phuket

This is going to be a quick one, folks. You see that link near the top of the page informing you that this here blog is one of the best Bachelor blogs? That's right, mo-fo. It was named one of the 50 best Bachelor blogs by Christian Counseling Degree dot org so I'm coasting now. Just calling it in...

Actually, I was more surprised that there are at least 50 blogs devoted to this ridiculous show we all love/hate. How proud can I be of that? If anything, it just got me thinking I'm lost in a sea of Bachelor-related nonsense and I should find a show that nobody likes to blog about. At least that way I'd stand out.

But if you can't get enough and want to read still more opinions on the show, follow the link above that says Best "The Bachelor" Blogs and it'll lead you to a treasure trove of sites.

But no, I'm not coasting, not calling it in. The truth is that my wife and I played a drinking game this episode. Every time Ashley said the name "Bentley", we had to take a drink. I'm hammered. Fifteen minutes in I passed out.

Okay, that's not true, either (although it's a great idea, I think you'll agree). Truth is I was packing up for my first trip to Las Vegas while the show was on. I leave in the morning. So the details are sketchy. Thankfully the episode was not all that riveting, what with Ashley still smarting over Bentley. And did you catch next week's highlights? Are we to believe Bentley is the guy who returned to see her? Or are they just leading us on? If it's him, I hope for both her sake and his that he comes clean and doesn't try to mess with her head again. She's fra-gee-lay. (Who saw A Christmas Story?)

I didn't have an opinion on the Greek god Constantine before. But after the date, I give him a thumbs up. Seems like a decent dude. I didn't like that old Thai guy telling the young couple that in a long-term relationship, the man shouldn't try to win an argument. That's just crazy talk! Maybe the rules for love are different in Thailand. You're in it to win it, old man!

Speaking of Thailand, it looked beautiful but I doubt their tourism bureau was too thrilled. What do we take away from the place? Torrential rainfall is a way of life there. This coming from a guy who lives in Vancouver, where we're no strangers to liquid sunshine.

What's all this resentment over Ryan? I really got the sense the producers created this. Everyone was getting along too well and they had to create some drama now that Bentley's gone so they choose the nicest guy in the house. Their beef? He's too peppy, too positive, has a zest for life. That might be a hard sell, Blake. Good luck with it, though.

Ashley said JP was the best kisser by far. And she digs his shaved head look. That maybe gives a guy like me a boost, but really? I thought he looked sickly.

In every season of the Bachelorette there's one guy who the woman describes as hilarious who shows no outward sign of being even remotely funny. And in every season there's one guy who seems a little less... how shall I put this?... interested in girls than the others. This season, those two archetypes are housed in one body: Ames. He seems like a good guy, a worldly guy, a smart guy, but... But I don't know. First off, he looks a little... different. And, hey, please don't think I'm pulling a Tracy Morgan here. Just making an observation. Most of the guys are studly man's man kind of dudes. Second, he's been to Thailand a few times... alone. Again, just saying. Third, he never identified the sex of his former lover. He said he met somebody in a shoe store and never once used the feminine pronoun. Oh, sure, it's all circumstantial, but it's fun to play these games. What else do we have? Okay, there's the drinking game. Maybe next week.

Ashley called an audible, saying she only wanted to send home one lucky bachelor this week instead of two. Chris Harrison, pretending to be the one who could okay such a move, said he was fine with that. So poor widowed West was meted out more heartbreak and sent home. Eleven others got to move forward. Of those eleven, 5.5 are okay by me:

1. Constantine
2. Ryan
3. JP
4. William
5. Ben C.
1/2 Ben F.

Ben F. only gets half a thumb because he's jumping into the anti-Ryan camp. So the jury's out on him.

As for the others, Mickey is an unknown quantity but he looks weird. Lucas is dull, Nick has highlights in his hair, Blake is insecure, and Ames is Ames.

That's it. Don't worry, I'll be back home before the next episode airs. But meanwhile, gotta finish packing.