Monday, August 30, 2010

BP: And the survey says...

I think my enjoyment of this week's episode were tempered a bit by the fact we're in a cheap one-room motel on the road and my 5-year-old was awake on his bed watching the show for the first time. The first half of it, anyway. But I made a rule: No questions or talking. Not just because I'd miss the scintillating dialogue, but because I'm not sure I wanted to hear what was going through his mind and I doubt very much I could answer his queries. Hopefully the experience didn't damage him too much. He fell asleep. Maybe we'll get some questions in the morning. Meanwhile, some idle thoughts:

  • Dave couldn't hide his alpha-male personality for long, could he? But he hid it longer than I thought he would have. I'm waiting anxiously for his invocation of the Man Code.
  • Why didn't we get to see the boxing match between Wes and Dave? Who would your money be on? Dave has the body to pummel Wes, but I bet Wes is a better dirty fighter.
  • And the very mention of a survey, Tenley starts blubbering. Love it!
  • I wish I had all the questions from the survey so I could answer them. Of the ones we heard, here are my picks: Who's going to win?: Ashley. My biggest enemy: David. Most shallow: Natalie. Dumbest: Jesse. Secret crush: Natalie. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride: Nikki. Biggest jerk: David. Worst boob job: Elizabeth.
  • Lots of surprises in the real answers. Biggest enemy was Krisily. Huh? Dumbest was Gwen. How does anyone know? She never says anything. She could be the smartest one there for all we know. Secret crush was Dave. Brutal. Worst boob job (and shallowest) was Elizabeth, rightly, but Krisily got a vote. I gotta admit I never noticed. I was going to say Gia would get the vote if she were still around but then I figured she'd win for best boob job, not worst.
  • If anything positive came out of this survey, it's that Natalie was most likely scared straight. Maybe she'll change her ways. But if there's a new survey, most likely to marry out of spite, I'd vote for Natalie in a second.
  • Ashley gets some airtime and my wife and I both go, who? Honestly, I thought she and Krisily were the same person.
  • On Tenley and Kiptyn's one-on-one date, it entertains me no end to see the excitement a helicopter can bring.
  • Kovacs says, totally sincerely, that in his eyes Elizabeth is perfect. I'd like to think that if we saw the out-takes, we'd see him and the crew laughing their heads off immediately after he said it.
  • On her date, Tenley said she thought the rose offering means the recipient will take the next step with her. Uh, wrong show, dummy. Sweet, naive Tenley.
  • Breaking news: Tenley reveals she had sex with Jake. She said she hadn't "been with a man" since Jake broke her heart.
  • I lose a little respect for Peyton when she gushes over the simpleton, Jesse, calling him the hottest guy in the house, tons of fun, and gorgeous. I gain a little respect back for her when she is rightfully disgusted by his belching and other antics, like chugging a martini. But really, what did she expect? It was no surprise to me.
  • The old broad, Gwen, says that no matter what happens, "I've really captured who I am" on the show. Oh, okay, so she really is dumb. Maybe that's why she usually keeps quiet so she doesn't put her foot in her mouth like that.
  • Krisily and Wes get sent packing. Strangely, for the first time in Bachelor-related product, the people getting the boot are given some final public words in front of everyone. Will this be a new feature? It should be. Krisily calls everyone out. That's exactly what you want from an opportunity like this. Wes, meanwhile, leaves with a classy, "I had a helluva time." Boring. Big difference from his exit on Jillian's season.
And that's that. Looks like next week should be fun when three women get sent home in the morning. And we'll be back home then, too, so my son won't have to witness such shenanigans again.