Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Week 3: The Toothless Vampire

I mentioned I'm not blogging this season, right? Good. Just so we're on the same page.

But random comments by me (and you) can be found here each week when I get around to watching, which, this week, was Tuesday night:

* Is there no communication between Brad and the producers when deciding on a date? Clearly, Brad didn't choose to go on the most expensive karaoke date ever and book "Mr. Seal" as the surprise guest. That's something the producers agreed to in order to jumpstart Seal's career, never once stopping to ask Brad if he can, you know, carry a tune. That was just an embarrassing display of singing. And considering Ashley the Nanny has been terrified of singing before anyone her whole life, you have to ask yourself why this happened at all.

* Now I know why agent for Mr. Seal approached the show: I've been humming that damned song for two hours now and I don't foresee a quick coda.

* I like Ashley the Nanny. She felt like her deceased father, who loved the song, was there singing along with them. Presumably as he was rolling over in his grave.

* Does anyone like the play-acting we have to endure each season? This time it was an action "movie".

* Speaking of play-acting, I get the very real sense that Hideous Beauty Michelle (are all Michelles jealous sociopaths or just the ones on this series?) is playing a role. It's way too over the top. There has been zero consequence for any of the previous "villains" in past seasons, so there's no down side to be bat-shit crazy. More screen time, and you can always blame the editors for giving you a bad edit.

* When the Seattle Tough Chick got all verklempt with Brad, nobody interrupted her. Which just goes to show the producers are behind all the interruptions. Shocking, I know.

* Last week I wrote that according to this show, "all southern belles are widowed single moms who are the salt of the earth." I completely forgot the other parallel to the last one (anyone remember her name?): both of them lost their husbands in a plane crash. What are the odds? Emily was brave to take that little plane with Brad. I wouldn't have. (As an aside, she kinda reminds me of Dolly Parton, without the lung capacity.)

* I really like Shawntel the Funeral Director. At least what I've seen so far. She really reminds me of someone but can't quite figure out who. The only name I can come up with is Jo from The Facts of Life.

* In what world is the Vampire a model? The netherworld, maybe.

* Therapy must really work. After just two minutes with his L.A. therapist, Brad "finally reached the turning point".

* Did the Toothless Vampire selflessly take herself out of the running, or did she realize she had no chance and wanted to save herself the embarrassment of the roseless walk of shame? Methinks the latter.

* Sarah the Rejected Real Estate Broker's running mascara was a thing of beauty and a joy forever. I don't want to poke fun of any pain she might be feeling, but I'm sure she's over it now and she and her family and friends all shared a mighty guffaw over her impeccable Lucille Ball impression.

That's all. I'll be back to not blog about next week's episode. Until then.