But before any ceremony or date, Shawn gets serious with Kaitlyn. He asks her point blank: "Are you in love with me?" She's stuck for an answer, finally coming up with the old standby, "I'm falling in love with you."
He tells her, "I don't know if I can do this." She says he just has to decide if he can do it. And she kisses him slowly to shut him up. Snivelling, she tells the camera she feels guilty that he knows she was intimate with Nick the Slick. But her feelings for Shawn are "overwhelming." She feels "awful" and cries in her hand. She doesn't feel guilty over being intimate with Nick, though; she just feels awful about how it might affect the others. Interesting distinction, to be sure. Semantics anyone?
She says she feels like she's constantly disappointing people. Her heart would break if Shawn left. But he ain't going nowhere, I sense.
Yes, finally the two-on-one with JJ and Joe. She says JJ is attractive. I'm blaming the editing on that one. No way she said that. Impossible. Moonshine Joe's no great shakes but at least he's devoid of JJ's personality. That's a plus.
The three of them take a boat ride. Looks like a fishing vessel but I'm not sure. They arrive at some tiny deserted island. Whoever was there before them left a picnic basket and some blankets. Luck of the Irish!
She sits with Joe on a rocky beach. What is JJ doing during this time? There's literally nothing else to do on the island. Hope he brought a book. Joe tells her he's falling in love with her then starts eating her lips. Can't blame him the way she sticks them out the way she does. She says Joe blew her away.
Now it's JJ's turn. He promises to show the worst of himself. Interesting strategy. Turns out, three years ago he cheated on his wife. Surprising. He seemed like such a nice young man. (sarcasm font) He made a mistake that destroyed his life. He doesn't say whether it was with a man or woman. She thinks he probably learned a lot from that. I'm sure he did. Cheaters hardly ever cheat more than once. They always learn their lesson and then become model spouses.
But she doesn't give the rose to Joe, either, because she needs more time. So they're going to spend some more time together while JJ gets a free trip to the USA!
They go to a room and talk a bit between kisses. Joe looks the most relaxed he's been all season.
He returns to the guys and tells them he's falling in love with "the girl." Shawn immediately gets up and leaves. Or at least that's how the edit would have us believe. He walks to the elevator and says it's cards on the table time.
Kaitlyn's curled up in a ball on her sofa. Then she's being interviewed and the producer says, "They're telling me Shawn's on his way over right now." So she gets warned. I would assume they always get warned but this is the first time they've shown us. Usually we see them answering the door all fake-surprised.
She immediately thinks Shawn's going to leave so she bawls. He knocks. She whispers, "I don't want to go through this." Then she answers the door with tear-stained cheeks. She invites him to the couch.
She tells him she's having a rough time. He reveals what she said off-camera in Texas. She looked him in the eyes and said, "I think you're the one." So that's why he's been so jealous of everyone else. Instead of letting that build his confidence, he let it eat away at him every time she kissed someone else.
She says maybe she's at fault for reassuring him so much. She tells him it's hard for everyone. Everyone else is so positive and she's wasting time reassuring him all the time. He says the more reassurance she gives him, the harder it gets for him. That leaves her confused because she doesn't know if she should back off or not. This isn't making her closer to him. She finds him needy. And that's because he is.
It's cocktail party time. She gets the party started by telling them how difficult her week has been. She's emotional and confused and has made mistakes. But her heart is still open. Sounds like it's going to be a fun party!
She says she's never been this nervous. The guys aren't sure what she meant by "mistakes." Well, Nick the Slick knew, but he wasn't talking. Shawn thinks he knows. Her statements are like a Rorschach test. You can see in them anything you want.
Zed steals her away. They sit outside and he takes the opportunity to kiss her in Ireland. She finds him handsome and manly.
Aitch takes her into the library. He needs to talk to her. She looks worried. He says something happened but he doesn't know what. He knows something was said to Shawn that changed things, gave him validation. But he doesn't want to know details. He just wants to make sure he's not just spinning his wheels. I guess he's looking for validation, too, but in a slightly less whiny way.
She thanks him for talking about it and not jumping to any conclusions. Aitch is certainly Bachelor material if he doesn't make it the whole way through. Who's with me on this? Good-looking, sense of humour, sane.
Next it's Shawn's turn. Again. He apologizes for making her week hard for her. He says he got in his own head and drove himself a little crazy. She says she's to blame. Very Canadian. She tells him she never should have made that sweet gesture. It messed everything up. He asks her what she's thinking, looking concerned. She tells him they need to take a step back. Ah, so nothing to be concerned about. That's always a sign that things are going swimmingly.
They zoom in on his face and I find it hard to believe Shawn is only 28. He could easily pass for 40.
We're just over one hour in so of course it's time for the rose ceremony. Three roses to hand out. Slick, Patchy, and Moonshine already have roses. We didn't see Joe being offered his rose but he's wearing one now so we have to assume he didn't just pick one up at a market and pin it to his lapel.
She tells Chris Harrison that sometimes she makes impulse decisions. This just in! Ya think?! She's sounding like Shawn will not get a rose because he wouldn't be able to handle finding out about her sleeping with Slick.
Two are going home. Shawn and Cupcake? Those are my calls. Let's see how it goes:
She's terrified that her mistakes could sabotage her happiness.
We come back from commercial and my wife says, "Oh, it's still on?" See, these random rose ceremonies are screwing with people's inner clock.
They're going to Killarney. Everyone on a "Paddywagon" except for Patchy, who gets to ride in the car with Kaitlyn. She drives. The steering wheel is on the right side, and the traffic is on the left. She hits the curb three times.
They arrive at the Blarney Stone. It's on the top of a castle-like structure. They have to lean over the edge backwards to kiss it. That was just a pit-stop, though. They keep going to a legit castle, where Kaitlyn is staying. It's apparently haunted, she says, and adds the queen has stayed there, too. Now why would the bloody Queen of England and the Commonwealth be put up in a haunted castle? I think she was confusing it with Hamlet. Anyway, they have a cocktail on her bed and kiss. The ghosts mind their own business.
In the bus, we see Shawn sleeping with some very obvious fake snoring edited in. That's below the belt. Maybe he was sawing logs and they didn't catch it so felt it was fair game to edit it in later.
She's going to send home three guys this week, instead of just two. She's going to get Fantasy Suite time before the Hometowns instead of the other way around. The guys think hometowns will be next, but here's Harrison to fill them in that the overnight dates will be in Ireland.
Dr. Cupcake gets the first one-on-one. We've seen the teaser and he weeps so maybe he doesn't come back. That'll probably be the cliffhanger.
She asks him what their lives would look like if they were together. She asks him if he would want to stay in Nashville. He dances around the question.
She tells him she's freaking out a little bit. She cries. He comforts her not knowing what's coming. She says every time she's with him, it's so good. But she promised herself she wouldn't lead any relationship on. He calmly says he sees what she's saying. She blames herself again, as any good Canadian can relate to. He tells her she's just scared. She says he's everything she wants in somebody, but she doesn't fully see it so she says bye to him. He says, "I really wish that you could be my wife." What he really should have said was, "Inconceivable!" But he gets up and kisses her on the forehead. She walks back to the chopper. He will have to climb down, I guess.
"I think that she's wrong and I don't think she really knows what she wants," he says. But he'd rather know now than next year or in twenty years. Really? He wouldn't like a good twenty-year run with the woman of his dreams? He says she deserves a lifetime of happiness, but "I'm not sure she's ready to find it. Looking at her, she's a mess." He cries right near the edge of the cliff. It looked for a second that he was going to jump. A producer takes a step toward him. He comes to his senses and sits down and bawls like few have bawled before him on this show. Maybe he should have jumped. Less embarrassing.
No cliffhanger. Ironic considering they were right there on a cliff. They just don't get it.
Next week Kaitlyn sits down the remaining guys and confesses she had sex with Nick. And she says "sex," not "was intimate with." Not sure why she felt the need to confess, but it's probably because they'd all find out by watching the show anyway. Looks like they weren't too happy. Didn't see that coming.
And that's that.