Saturday, February 19, 2011

Week 7: Rules are meant to be broken

Yeah, I know. Almost a week left, so why bother? It's really inexcusable. In my defense, we were on holidays and didn't get back until Wednesday. And the lack of comments from last week's effort didn't exactly inspire me to get something up quickly for my faithful. So it's on you! Whew. That was easy. I'm good at shirking responsibility. But this I do vow: I will get next week's non-post up no later than Tuesday or your money back. Guaranteed.

Now onto the few random thoughts I had:

* That Emily is a tough nut to crack. I think she means well, but her communication needs work. Brad is totally smitten. When he asked her what he wanted to do on their one-on-one date, she replied, "I really don't even care." Awesome.

* I thought it was poor form on his part to pressure Emily to meet little Ricky. They both agree it would be tough for him to get down on one knee in a couple of weeks if he hasn't met her daughter, but the show doesn't need to end with a proposal. But it's all moot anyway. My old bĂȘte noire, the upcoming highlights, tells us he meets the kid next week.

* If Shawntel doesn't win it all, she's got my vote for the next Bachelorette. She's got it all: beauty, brains, confidence, sex appeal, girl-next-door appeal. Her one knock is an unsightly tramp stamp, but at least it's a good match for Brad's ridiculous back ink.

* Britt exudes whatever the opposite of charisma is.

* For a food writer, Britt doesn't look like she eats much. Maybe she just chews it then spits it out. The girl's a rake.

* Brad was breaking all the rules. Reminded me of Charlie Manson telling Tom Snyder, "I don't break the laws; I make the laws." First off telling Emily she'd be getting a rose, then sending poor Britt home when she thought she was on a pressure-free roseless date. Good thing they just happened to have a little boat waiting for her to get the hell off the yacht.

* Loved the insincere condolence hug from Crazy Michelle 2.0 when Britt breaks the news to the gals at the house.

* Has anyone seen the Sports Illustrated swim suit edition that just came out? Did any of the shots from the three girls make it in, as promised? Two of the three women didn't have the prototypical swimsuit model bodies. Crazy Michelle 2.0 was the exception. But Ashley and Chantal were like Laurel and Hardy. At least they knew it and showed confidence in their bodies, which men always like. Ashley screamed "no boobs!" while Chantal said she was feeling like a "fatty" after pigging out the last couple of days. Uh, that couldn't be from a couple of days, could it?

* Ashley has the most unique forehead wrinkles I've ever seen.

* Chantal's a mess. Brad was completely right in foreseeing nothing but head-butting with Crazy Michelle 2.0, so he was right to send her home. But Chantal's waterworks are a problem. I foresee lots and lots of needless drama with Chantal.

* Did anyone else hear Chantal swear on prime time network TV? I played it back twice and it sure sounded like she said, "It's been quite shitty" as the ladies were all clinking glasses.

* As bad an actress as Crazy Michelle 2.0 was, I was happy to see her respond appropriately after Brad forsook the cocktail party just to send her home. He asked if he could have her hand as he walked her to the limo and she said, "Uh, probably not." Then she got in and that was the last we heard from Crazy Michelle 2.0. And hopefully the last we'll ever hear from her. Her fifteen minutes has officially run out.