Tuesday, August 24, 2010

BP: The comeuppance

This was an important week for Bachelor Pad. After a strong first episode, they followed up with a pie-eating contest. I'm guessing they lost a lot of viewers last week. And lots more were sent to the fence, where they are now perched precariously.

So where are we? I dunno. The show is frustrating as hell, but I think it picked up a bit over last week. But a kissing contest will do that.

So, as per usual, some random thoughts:
  • I can't believe no one called Gia out over her deceit last week while she was blaming poor old Nikki for voting out Craig.
  • I'm not a master strategist, but I still don't get why it was so important to the outsiders that Kiptyn be the one to be voted out last week. I get that they want break up the couples, but he wasn't the only one in a shallow relationship.
  • What the hell is Melissa doing? Her jobs this week were twofold: Explain the contest and silently hand out the roses.
  • Ashley, a teacher we learn tonight, backed out of the kissing contest because she doesn't want to lose the respect of her students. Um, okay. But like your virginity, you can't lose something you already lost.
  • When Ashley bowed out, she took off her blindfold, saw all the guys standing in line with numbers around their necks, then went back inside with the other girls. Later we saw them all talking amongst themselves while the contest was still going on about who was who.
  • Gia withdrew halfway through, in tears. She has a boyfriend back home, doncha know? And she'd never do anything to hurt him.
  • I was hoping they'd put Melissa in Gia's place just to give her something else to do.
  • Jonathan, the Weatherman, was the litmus test for the ladies. Most couldn't even fake a meaningful kiss with the guy, but Natalie, who says she'd make out with any guy there for 20 bucks, and Elizabeth both thrust their tongues into his mouth. Classic post-kiss reactions by them, rubbing away the germs, while innocent Jonathan's pants got tighter.
  • I'm going to harp on this every week, but in all competitions I want to see the results. That is, I want to know where all the votes went. Don't just tell me the final result. I also think it'd make for better strategy for everyone there to know exactly who was getting votes for what. Not to mention making it seem more on the up-and-up.
  • David and Peyton won the competition. My first reaction: Who's Peyton?
  • David got to go to Vegas with Nikki, Krisily and Natalie. They go to a topless pool and Natalie is the only one who shines (so to speak). She even said she'd take off her pants if David did. Needless to say, she got the rose. Let that be a lesson for the ladies. On the way back home, Nikki says, "Maybe we should have gone topless." Uh, yeah. Are you in it to win it or what?
  • David and Natalie get to forgo their individual rooms for a night in the fantasy suite. They get it on, but mum's the word. As Dave says, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas." Now I know what that means. But I'm sure Natalie will blurt it out at some point. They are now a couple. And a perfect match, I'd say.
  • Peyton took Kovacs, Kiptyn and Jesse drag racing. She gives the rose to Jesse and their fantasy suite is back at the mansion. It looks very ordinary. Why don't they just call it what it is: the Sex Room.
  • Kiptyn flat-out lies to Peyton. And he's good at it. He looks like a good guy but he's obviously a sociopath.
  • I love that Elizabeth was all verklempt over the date Kovacs went on when she tongued every guy in the house. And I love that Kovacs tells us that Elizabeth is ruining things for him. She is a nervous breakdown waiting to happen.
  • Okay, she's not the only one. I fear for Tenley's psychological health.
  • Gia continued to be a piece of work this week, flirting outrageously with Wes. "If I leave, I better see you... If I were to be tempted in the house, Wes would be the guy to do it..." Yeah, keep it in the subjunctive. That way you have an out with your boyfriend.
  • Wes croons the hit we've all grown to know and loathe. My wife said, "Does he have no other songs?" Why should he? Every woman he plays it to melts. That piece of nasal crap is the biggest aphrodisiac in the world, it appears. It got Gia to go ga-ga about what a talented, beautiful person Wes is. He's a "modern day Shakespeare but better and cuter!" And if Shakespeare had zero talent.
  • Gia tells Kiptyn, who she tried to boot off last week, "I think you know I'm pretty honest." Yeah, tell that to Craig, who you promised would get the rose.
  • Elizabeth may be a lot of negative things, but she's not stupid or unaware. She says about the Weatherman, "I don't think he's funny; I don't think he's cute."
  • What was Wes going on about with his strategizing? If Elizabeth doesn't get sent home, Kovacs will be the next to go. Even if that were true, what difference would it make to anyone?
  • The Weatherman finally got sent home, just in time for hurricane season. There was a tie between Gia and Elizabeth. David, the contest winner, got to make the final decision: See ya later Gia. She gets her comeuppance. On her way out she tells Wes she loves him. She's gone back to her wonderful boyfriend and no doubt spent the next few weeks keeping him away from the TV. Who knows? Maybe she arranged a vacation with him to Antarctica.
Has the show lost anyone? You all still with it?