Monday, May 30, 2011

Week 2: Radar, oh really?

Welcome back to another exciting edition of the Bachelor Blog (Bachelorette edition). For a Week 2 entry, I thought it was pretty solid: clearly defined characters, a villain, and a cute protagonist. I mean the show. But the blog is pretty good, too.

Yes, Ashley's formerly disturbing new look has grown on me. Maybe it was all the hot little outfits she was wearing, exposing her tight midsection and bow legs. I asked this last week, I think, but did we know about her passion for dancing last season or is early-onset Alzheimer's setting in? And another thing, did we know about her passion for dancing last season or is early-onset Alzheimer's setting in? She's decent, isn't she? The dancing dentist.

Fresh-faced William got the first one-on-one date and the two of them looked like a great-looking couple. They both have an impish sense of humour and their personalities light up a room.The fact he keeps down-playing his job as a salesman probably doesn't help his cause with the upwardly mobile and driven Ashley, but she might be happier with him than some other successful dolt. Sure, his impersonations would get old fast but if his dream to become a stand-up comedian within five years (I read the bios on the website) comes to fruition, he can get those out of the way on stage.

He does seem to have a bit of the Weatherman in him in that he seems, uh, inexperienced in the love department but so what? Give the kid a chance. Once he gets a taste of the fantasy suite, maybe he won't feel the need to spill his guts to all the guys about every little detail of his date.

William obviously hasn't seen past seasons judging by his comment when Ashley drove him to an airport and he saw their private jet: "It's something you only see in movies," he said. And just about every episode in this franchise's history.

I liked Ashley's wedding hoax. She's got spunk, I tells ya. She'll take a joke as far as she can without revealing it's just a joke. She did it later with the overly serious Mickey when she flipped him for a rose. It was the only time he showed any personality: "Are you crazy?" he said. She could have stopped before the flip and the flop sweat to say she was kidding, but she took it to its limit. Gotta admire that.

Earlier on that flip-flop date with Mickey, they decide to flip a coin and the winner could choose anything they wanted. So Mickey wins the flip and... asks her the lamest question ever: When was the last time you cried? He could have received a kiss out of it, or at the very least ask a question he couldn't possibly know the answer to by watching last season.

The group date dance routine was... I'm not sure. Those kinds of dates are always just blatant advertising for whatever show they're involved with. The only important thing (in Bachelorette world, that is) is that the duplicitous Bentley came away with the rose. The whole episode was filled with the single father showing his daughter that he's a scumbag, trashing Ashley privately while sweeping her off her feet in person. Well done, daddy-o! May your daughter be fooled by a creep one day, too.

He talked about her amazing butt and legs but said she's just not his type, without stating what his type is. I'm not suggesting he's wrong, but he'd help his case more if he laid out specifically what he was looking for, other than Emily. It wouldn't help him much more, granted, but it would be a start. He's still a creep for lying but I'm kind of happy he's not only revealing the series for what it is, but he's showing Ashley (and hopefully viewers) that they shouldn't just go with their gut in relationships. If there are red flags, they're probably there for a reason. In one comic turn, Ashley told the camera she has "pretty good radar" when it comes to character, she's seeing such sincerity with Bentley and her gut tells her to trust him. It would be hilarious if it weren't so sad.

Bentley's line of the night: "I would literally rather be swimming in pee than plan a wedding with her." I think Wes coached him.

Here's something I don't get: The masked man, Jeff, wanted to keep the top part of his face covered so Ashley could get to know the real him first. Well, that's the conceit, anyway. Fair enough. Let's go with that. If that's true, why does he need to keep the mask on at the house while Ash is away on a date? What difference does it make if the guys see his ugly mug?

Ooh, and we almost saw it, didn't we? Yeah, right. The producers made sure to send Matt in to interrupt the unveiling. Not manufactured at all. It's no coincidence that if you head on over to the Bachelor website on ABC that his bio photo is a silhouette. Do you think they'll put one up if he finally gets unmasked? Also, one of his competitors nailed it: it's not as if his personality is shining through. Sure, he's had a brain hemorrhage so maybe he really is hiding a big scar or something, but still he's got to lighten up a bit.

One of the guys asked, "What do you think he looks like?" Um, exactly what we see except he's got eyelids and eyebrows, I'm guessing.

The rose ceremony took place during a rain storm (and they say it never rains in southern California) complete with SFX claps of thunder. Fresh-faced William, Stone-faced Mickey and the Bastard Bentley all got roses and were safe. Twelve more roses were handed out. They went to:
  1. West
  2. Constantine
  3. Ryan P.
  4. Ben C. (who seemed fun and sincere)
  5. Nick (boo)
  6. Ames (boo)
  7. Lucas (who? I just checked his bio. It says he's a conservative Republican. Nuff said.)
  8. Jeff
  9. J.P.
  10. Chris
  11. Ben F.
  12. Blake
Only three were sent home.
  1. Matt called his mom, telling her he didn't get the girl and was coming home. So much for contestant confidentiality. I suppose there's now a precedence for other contestants to spill the beans as soon as they're kicked off. Go to it. Let the producers threaten you. It won't hold up in court!
  2. Ryan M., who claimed that "life isn't fair" before stomping off to his bedroom and slamming the door.
  3. Steven, the hairstylist. He had the most unintentionally funny response to a question in his bio: He was asked what his three worst attributes were. He responded, "self critical and bad speller". Classic! I'd add to that a lack of attention to detail.
So there you have it. Another week gone and we're one week closer to a meltdown after Ashley's radar implodes. (I hope you appreciated the sly M*A*S*H reference in the title.)