Monday, February 8, 2016

Bachelor Ben: Unfounded confidence lost

And we are continuing with the To Be Continued. Will Olivia be sent home or not? I'm on record as saying Not. No way. She's not done for. Ben asked to speak to her before the ceremony, but she has a rose. It ain't happening. Let's see if I'm right.

Ben is asking Olivia what her side of the story is. He's concerned that she's not connecting with the other women. Olivia feels like she can't win. Everyone is into painting their nails and doing each other's hair. She, on the other hand, prefers reading books in her room and thinking. Or as she puts it, "I wanna talk... smart... things." Well said.

She realizes she comes off as intimidating but it's because she's really confident. But she breaks down and cries like someone not so confident.

And as expected, she comes back with rose in hand. He tells them he enjoys and appreciates each one of them. They're all different. Well, now that one of the twins is gone anyway.

The remaining Twin is angry that Olivia is still there. Olivia talks tough, telling the camera, "Come at me, bro... Everybody else can suck it."

Now we're at that point we all hate: a rose ceremony to start the show. Who is already pre-rosed? Olivia for one. Who else? Must be Amanda and Lauren H. The others go to:
  1. Caila, naturally
  2. Lauren B., whichever one she is.
  3. JoJo
  4. Becca, the virgin
  5. Leah. Who? Has she had any camera time this season?
  6. Twin
So the Twin gets one. Meaning Bennifer is going home. What? One woman? Much ado about nothing, methinks.

All right, pack your bags. We're going to the Bahamas.

There will be three dates: 1-on-1, group date, and the dreaded 2-on-1.

Hey, speak of the devil. Leah gets some camera time. But she doesn't get the one-on-one date. That goes to the terminally sweet and cute Caila. Leah is speechless, much like she's been all season. She's questioning everything. At least she's figured out how to get some airtime: tears.

Ben comes in to get Caila and sits down next to Leah. It would have been perfect if he had introduced himself, like, "Hi, I'm Ben. I don't think we've met."

Caila and Ben are going deep sea fishing, one of his favourite activities. They set off on a big fancy boat. Leah bawls back at the hotel. I can't be too sympathetic because we get to see Caila in a bikini hauling in a big fish.

Okay, Leah, stop. Get a hold of yourself.

Ben calls Caila funny, beautiful, sexy, smart, but he wants to get to know her below the surface. He tells her she smiles a lot, and he guesses she smiles through tough times. But he's looking for someone who cries through tough times. Careful what you wish for, buddy.

She tells him she's not sure if she's ready to cry on his shoulder. She feels put on the spot. He understands. She tells him she feels like she loves him, but she doesn't know why she can't share. She thinks maybe she's not ready. Her greatest fear is that she can't totally completely fall in love with someone. Her greatest fear is breaking his heart. Not sounding good.

He thinks he might be saying goodbye to her tonight. If so, let's start the Caila for Bachelorette campaign now!

He wants to know what exactly she's feeling, if she thinks he's not the right person. She admits to being a confusing person. But she talks her way out of it. We know this because hopeful music starts playing. Ben melts. She feels real happiness. He thinks it's attracted to her confusion. It's authentic. So she gets the rose and we can breathe a sigh of relief.

Earlier I made reference to Ben looking like a young Tom Cruise. In this episode, he's looking like Peter Brady.

It's group date time. And another boat date. They hint at Jaws but instead get swimming pigs. Looks like they're feeding them weiners. Is that appropriate? Isn't that cannibalism?

JoJo is struggling with the group date dynamic. Ben thinks she should get how it's awkward for everyone. It's awkward especially for Leah, who was expecting the one-on-one. And she tells him that, too, tearfully. She feels like a group date groupie. She tells Ben she's human. Ben gets that she's human. They hug but she goes back and cries some more to the others saying Ben is an idiot for not giving her a chance.

At night, Leah feels like she's going home. Boo-hoo.

Ben grabs Becca first. He tells her he felt like she was standoffish with him today. She cops to it. But she says she really, really likes him and they kiss.

Everyone seems to think Lauren B. is the frontrunner on the date. Is she the flight attendant or the kindy-garten teacher? I mixed them up last episode. Get rid of one of them.

Leah tells Ben she thinks Lauren B. is different in the house than she is towards him. Is she making that up? Have we seen evidence of this? Lauren B. walks in on them. Timing is everything. Oh, and Lauren B. is the flight attendant.

Ben confronts the flight attendant. She doesn't get it. The thought gets in his head and he doesn't know what to do with it. If I were her, I'd ask Ben to canvas all the other women to find out what they think.

Lauren B. tells the others what was said. Leah gives a perplexed look, like that's crazy talk, and says, "Well, I didn't say anything." Okay, Leah, we're onto you now. Leah says, "I would never be the type of person to single somebody out." Clearly the others should rush to Lauren B's defence.

Rose time. I bet it goes to Leah. Nope. It goes to Amanda, who takes a whiff of helium before saying, "Thank you!"

Leah is relieved Lauren B didn't get the rose, but she didn't get one herself so says she'll have to do something more extreme. Classy.

Amanda, while stroking Twin's arm, who's lying in bed, suspects it was Leah. Now Leah knocks on Ben's door to make him believe it was Lauren B. Even classier. She figures if someone goes home, it increases her chances of staying. But I don't think she's thought this through. If she somehow bypassed all the others and won the whole thing, Ben would find out while watching the season play out on TV, and he'd dump her in a second.

The camera just happens to be on Ben sitting by himself in his room when Leah knocks on the door. Ben pours them some wine and she gets down to business. Her sociopathic tendencies come shining through. She says there are situations with Lauren that she doesn't care as much she lets on to him. She's totally lying. I think that's a Bachelor first. She says, "I'm not here to sabotage your relationship with somebody." Except that's exactly what she's doing. But Ben sees through her. He doesn't want to sit there and talk about Lauren B. with her. Good for him. Good guy, that Ben.

He tells her something just doesn't feel right. She says, "Really?" He sends her home! Backfire! Ah, sweet karma. He must have been tipped off. Does he now discount everything he heard about Lauren B?

"I literally did not see that coming," she says. She feels foolish but thinks Ben is the fool for letting her go. He thinks he has no idea who she is. Boy, ain't that the truth!

Twin 1 calls Twin 2 to rub it in that she's in the Bahamas. Ugly Toes thinks Twin 1 is a child, but they're the same age. She knows it, too, but still thinks she'll feel like the mom on the two-on-one.

Olivia is almost giddy because it's her first "almost one-on-one." That's glass-half-full thinking! Twin 1 is terrified. It's another boat ride. I guess there's only so much to do in the Bahamas. It's stormy out there. Here's hoping one of them throws up.

They sit on the windy beach and drink white wine. Ben takes Olivia away first. She buries her ugly toes in the sand as they sit and talk. Smart move. She tells Ben she's more of an introvert and she's at peace with that. She's very grounded. She tells him she's really strong and confident. "Deep... intellectual... things are just... my jam." I think Aristotle said that first.

Her confidence grows even more. "From here on out, hometowns, whatever, it's all a breeze," she says. She's so in love with him. She thinks he's given her more validation that anyone else. She's getting the rose (in her mind, anyway).

Next up is Twin 1's turn. She wants this date to be the turning point. She's very serious. She knows she has a lot of growth "and stuff" in front of her. He walks her back without a kiss.

Ben picks up the rose then takes Olivia away with it. Emily is heartbroken and devastated. That means Emily will get it. Let's see.

Ben tells Olivia she was able to speak from her heart. She looks hopeful until he says he doesn't think he can reciprocate his feelings. So he tells her he can't give her the rose he's holding and has to say goodbye. What is going through her mind now? And will we get to see her toes?

He goes back to Emily and says he doesnt' want to stop this journey with her. She accepts the rose and squeals as Olivia stands motionless 50 feet away. Ben and Olivia Emily get on the boat and leave, while Olivia stands still with her toes buried in the sand, all alone. Poor kid.

Ben doesn't feel like talking to anyone at the cocktail party. He sends in his henchman, Chris Harrison, to let them know.

Here we go. Three roses to give out. Twin 1, Squeaky Amanda and Cute Caila already have a rose. The rest go to:
  1. Virgin Becca
  2. JoJo was a man who thought he was a loner
  3. Lauren B the flight attendant
Finally, one of the Laurens is gone. I liked the other one, but there's only room for one Lauren. The kindy-garten teacher goes back to the kiddies. She doesn't really get it. She thought she'd be great for him. She's feeling like she's never going to fall in love.

In the upcoming highlights Twin 1 says she can't believe she just met Ben's parents. So there goes that surprise. Looks like in the final he pulls a Jason Mesnick and sends the girl he loves more home, then calls her up to make things right. I love it when the show provides its own spoilers.

No, I don't.

See you next week.