Sunday, May 17, 2009

We are back!

Ah, it's been a good hiaitus. Got me all refreshed for another "season" of the show. This time it's The Bachelorette. I love that old-timey name. Always makes me think of The Dating Game.

Vancouver's own darling whatsername is the eponymously titled one... Damn, what is her name? Hang on, it's coming... It's been a while... Jillian! Yes, how could I have forgotten? I still haven't seen her around town, although I guess she's been busy filming and finding love, or a reasonable facsimile.

I was quite enamored with youngish Jillian last "season". Hell, look at her. What's not to love? Will seeing her front and centre week after week make me grow contemptuous of her? I certainly hope not. I can't see it. That girl is too with-it. She's got it all. I may not agree with her choices (she seemed to like the dweebish Jason, afterall) but I'll support her all the way.

The show gets underway on the morrow. Only one more sleep! But let's get things rolling ahead of time, for my sake, at least, if not for yours. I always find it hard to get a handle on who's who in the first few weeks. So I'm heading over to the Bachelorette website right now to see who they've got lined up for our fair maiden. Won't you join me?...

The ABC site is calling Jillian "intelligent, independent, and passionate". What, they couldn't find another "i" word? But yeah, after that hot tub scene last year, she'll forever be thought of as passionate. When she was announced as the new Bachelorette, she said there'd be no more such scenes but we're all hoping otherwise. Aren't we?

Let's take a look at the schmoes they've got lined up for her... They look like a reasonable bunch. No obvious goofs or steroid monkeys. But what can you tell from a headshot? What jumps out at me as a patriotic Canuck is that there isn't one token Canadian among them. They usually have at least one. They probably didn't want the possibility of two Canadians dominating American network TV. There are, though, one Brit and one Argentine. If I'm Jill, I string those two guys along at least until the meet-the-family episode so she can get free trips to Europe and South America.

And here they are, ladies and germs, your 2009 Bachelorette bachelors, followed with a preliminary thumbs-up or thumbs-down based on practically nothing:

Adam, the 27-year-old Olympic cyclist. No.
Brad, the 27-year-old financial adviser. No. Goofy looking.
Brian, the 32-year-old IT consultant. No. Uptight.
Bryan, the 28-year-old high school coach. High school coach? Uh, no.
Bryce, the 31-year-old furniture dealer. His piercing blue eyes scare me. No.

Caleb, the 27-year-old photographer. Too precious. No.
David, the 27-year-old trucking contractor. More scary blue eyes. No.
Ed, the 29-year-old technology consultant. Sure. He looks normal. I approve.
Greg, the 31-year-old "entrepreneur". Could you get any more vague? No.
Jake, the 31-year-old commercial pilot. Looks like an upstanding citizen. Yes.

Jesse, the 27-year-old wine maker. Jillian would probably like the wine, but he looks too young and wet behind the ears. No.
John H., the 27-year-old branding consultant. A little too square for our Jillian. No.
John P., the 29-year-old marketing specialist. Not sure. At first I thought so, but the more I stared into his eyes, something bugged me. I'm on the fence.
Josh, the 25-year-old lifeguard. No way.
Juan, the 35-year-old general contractor from Buenos Aires. Definitely yes.

Julien, the 34-year-old "restauranteur" [sic]. Meh.
Kiptyn, the 31-year-old business developer. Despite the ridiculous handle, I'm giving him a resounding yes. Just a hunch.
Kyle, the 26-year-old graphic designer. He's toast. No.
Mark, the 26-year-old pizza entrepreneur. Pizza entrepreneur?! I want to say no, but sure, why not?
Mathue, the 26-year-old personal trainer. Despite the stupid spelling of his name, I'll say yes.

Michael, the 25-year-old break dance instructor(!). What is this, 1985? He's from Tacoma, the closest to Vancouver of anyone, but a break dance instructor? Methinks not.
Mike, the 28-year-old "baseball camp owner". What the hell is that? No.
Reid, the 30-year-old realtor. Nope.
Robby, the 25-year-old bartender. I like the cut of his jib. And what an adorable name. He's also probably a great listener. Yes.
Sasha, the 27-year-old oil & gas consultant. Nah.

Simon, the 26-year-old soccer coach from England. Why is every other British guy named Simon? Despite the travelling opportunities, I'm giving a thumbs down based on the photo.
Stephen, the 30-year-old lawyer. Endearingly nerdy. And probably rich. Yes.
Tanner F., the 28-year-old sales rep. Mild thumbs down.
Tanner P., the 30-year-old financial analyst. What, there are two Tanners? What are the odds? If either of the Tanners stick around, this is the one. Yes.
Wes, the 32-year-old musician. Yeah. Sure.

A quick tally tells me I have ten yeses. Call your bookie. I have no idea how many they choose the first night, but these guys should be in the running. Allow me to introduce them to you:

So that's the preview. Meet you back here tomorrow night for the first night recap and see how right I was about the picks.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Spoiler!! My friend is Wes' sister and he supposedly made it past home-town date! I think he is a goof, but we will see how he goes.