Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Week 5: Cirque du So Lame

If it's Wednesday, it must be Bachelor viewing day. Yeah, sorry about that. But what do you expect? I'm not blogging anyway. So I watch it when I get around to it. I appreciate the comments, though. Keep 'em coming. I guess when I post this so long after the fact, it doesn't exactly lend itself to hits and comments. Oh well, as the French say, "It is the life."

* I always really liked Nancy McKeon (aka Jo from Facts of Life) so is my crush on funeral director Shawntel a reflection of that? I don't think so. She seems normal. As Brad so aptly put it, "She's sexy without trying to be, which makes her even sexier." Exactly. And smart, too. Something's got to give, though.

* Shawntel McKeon got to go on a shopping spree, which enraged the rest of the field, especially the heretofore quiet Marissa, who showed us her ugly and hard side. So I wasn't surprised to see her go home.

* There's a real disconnect between the group shots of Crazy Michelle 2.0 (the Elizabeth Hurley lookalike) and her private interviews with the camera crew. In the former, she seems to get along with everyone and look somewhat sane. In private, she's an absolute nut job ("I am fun and hot." "I don't like them.") Which only supports my theory that she's trying super hard to be a character type (unstable bad girl) so she'll be noticed not so much by Brad but by Hollywood. Hollywood doesn't punish antisocial behaviour; it encourages it because it can make money off it. The worst part of it is how bad an actress she is. She's Madonna bad.

* Brad may not have known about Emily Parton's ex-fiancé being a NASCAR racer, but the producers did. I don't think we can just say Brad came up with the date. These dates and locations are all promos planned well in advance. But it all worked out. It was emotional for Em, but cathartic.

* The Bachelor Blogger Humanitarian Award™ goes to Alli (the brunette Jenny McCarthy) for her understanding of and caring for her fellow castmate, Emily, who went through an emotional time at the Las Vegas NASCAR racetrack, the very same track her fiancé had crashed and ended his driving career before dying in a plane crash on the way to another NASCAR event as an owner. Brad took Emily aside a couple times to make sure she was okay and to let her know she didn't have to get in the car. In receiving the award, Alli said, "We all have problems. We've all been through things." She went on to say, "Just because somebody comes in with the worst story means they get the most attention?" Congratulations Alli McCarthy! Your empathy knows no bounds.

* In a private talk with Brad, Alli blubbers, "It's hard to feel special" when he goes off with "the same girl time after time after time." For the record, he took Emily aside three times that day.

* Brad is still worried that Emily Parton has only been in love once in her life and single for the last six years. She may be a shy and demure southern belle but she's smart as a whip. She reminded him that he's only been in love once before. He corrected her, saying it was more than once. She retorted, "Well, you're a little older than me, m'dear." Touché! You go, girl.

* I've seen Cirque du Soleil three times now and it's an amazing show. You can't know until you experience one. I always thought it looked lame on TV – and it does – but live it's spectacular. That being said, why would any paying audience want to watch two amateurs (Brad and Dentist Ashley) perform? I'd like to think it takes great skill and years of experience to do what they do. Who knew it takes about an hour of rehearsal on the same day of the performance?

* Nanny Ashley has the cutest sob. When cut loose, she blubbered with the best of them. And when she said, "I just feel really sad" it sounded just like a five-year-old kid. If you stuck around to watch the out-take at the end, you'll have seen her with a giant teddy bear that she couldn't bear to part with going to Vegas. So I'm guessing it was a good move by Brad to let her go. Maybe once she goes through puberty she'd make better wife material.

* The Bachelor Blogger Best Editing Award™ goes to the segment where Brad and Dentist Ashley are swinging through the air to the tune of Elvis singing Are You Lonesome Tonight juxtaposed with shots of Nanny Ashley weeping in the limo ("Is your heart filled with pain?"). Well done.

* Before and after the upcoming highlights, Chris Harrison announces that this is the "most controversial season of The Bachelor". That's the first we've heard that, isn't it? What was the last most controversial season? Was it Womack's first time through where he picked no one? What could top that? Could it be that he picks no one a second time? That's all I can think of. Any other predictions of what could make this the most controversial season, please leave them in the comments section.


Karen said...

I'm still waiting for this season to pick up. There are STILL women there that I swear have never been on air before. I don't recognise them during the rose giveaway and I'm almost convinced that they keep sneaking extra ones in each week to see if anyone notices.

Controversial? Maybe he's going to do us all a favour and choose the final person next week, ensuring an early end to this disastrous season. It just seems so much more mean-spirited than other seasons, like producers are trying to stick knives in the women instead of just letting painfully-slow Brad torment them by pretending to like them. Like being rejected by a half-wit isn't enough; they also need to suffer psychological damage that will see a rise in visits to the show-appointed psychologist.

Maybe that's the real controversy... The psychologist that "helped" Brad is starting a spin-off show for "Bachelor"/"Bachelorette" cast-offs.

RACHEL said...

I think he's going to pick someone who turns him down.

Jenn said...


Anonymous said...

He'll end the season early by picking Chantal Ooooooh!