Wednesday, March 4, 2009

The Mesnick-Molly affair

Boy, the people are pissed, aren’t they? The public are a fickle lot. Jason was the most popular Bachelor ever and they just turned on him. And for what? For dumping Molly, proposing to Melissa, then dumping Melissa and hooking up with Molly. Folks, it’s a TV show! Yes, it’s also slightly real life, but everyone’s an adult and they know when they go into it what it’s all about.

Guys break up with fiancées all the time. Girls dump fiancés all the time. It’s never a super nice thing to do, but it happens. Should we really villify the dude? It made for great TV and that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? Feelings be damned. They got their 15 minutes of fame and that’s something they can tell their grandkids. Well, providing Melissa doesn’t continue being the “dumpee” again and again. I’m sure she can hang on to a guy long enough to squeeze out some offspring.

I do think that Jason and DeAnna will eventually hook up. I mean, they have to, don’t they? It’s a match made in heaven. There’s already a physical attraction. They were both America’s sweethearts before transforming before our eyes to America’s sleazebags. There’s no one who could understand what they’re going through better than each other. Oh God, please let it happen.

We know it can’t last with Molly. It just can’t. Her dad is her life, plus he’s a bit of a hard-ass. Remember, he hated her last boyfriend and she vowed that would never happen again. Yes, he got along with Jason on the home visit, but there’s no way he’s impressed with the guy now. They’re toast. Today is what, March 3. My prediction for the breakup is May 11. Seriously, let’s start a pool.

Hey, before the After the After the Final Rose Show, I just want to plug another Bachelor blog. It’s way, way better than this one (I know, hard to believe). I plugged it way back in week 3, but the entry last night was fantastic. Funny and insightful. Read it, if you haven’t already:

Okay, now here we go. One more hour in the continuing saga of Jason and Molly.

Oh look, there’s an audience this time. Screw the emotions of all those involved. I hope they give it to Jason. Again, not because I think he deserves it. It’s really all just about good TV.

Chris is telling us how our handsome bachelor Jason Mesnick, the single dad, fell in love with two women. Uh, did he? Chris says Jason realized he was still in love with Molly after he proposed to Melissa, but that shouldn’t discount the love he has for Melissa, should it? Something’s not right here. If you’re in love with two people, one doesn’t just magically disappear as soon as you artificially commit to the other on deadline.

Hey look! Highlights! That’s good, because I forgot how it all went down lo these 23 hours ago.

Here he’s telling Melissa he’d love to spend the rest of his life with her. Seeing him slip the ring on her fingers makes me believe this actually was the conspiracy everyone has been talking about. Remember in that very first episode when they showed him proposing? And we saw the girl’s nails and her pinkie ring and the moles on her arms and someone out there proved beyond a reasonable doubt that it was Melissa? Remember that? Well, we know that this show would never reveal something as big as that. The only way they’d do so was if they knew that person was not the eventual winner. But how would they have known that so long ago? They wouldn’t have... unless it was all scripted that way.

And look! They’re standing by a grassy knoll!

Jason says the love and passion wasn’t there. Actually, now I’m glad they’re showing highlights. I missed this part last night. It’s all about me.

Melissa asks Jason if he’s talked to Molly. He says no. I think that was a white lie. Later Melissa says “don’t text me anymore”. I have to believe Jason and Molly had been texting, if not talking. She had to have been clued in that something was up, even if she didn’t know exactly what.

Molly and Jason kiss. The crowd applauds. Hmm. Maybe they don’t hate him afterall.


Chris just mentioned it being the most dramatic final in history again, which got me to thinking that that’s how they plugged it from the very first episode, i.e. more than six weeks ago when all this supposedly went down. How did they know? And when did they know it? Where’s Earl Warren when you need him?

Hey look who it is! It’s bitchy Naomi, virginal Nikki, chunky Erica, tragically classy Stephanie, and... um... Kari! They’re back to weigh in on the controversy.

Nikki just described Jason as “this wonderful man”. Still.

Stephanie says Jason made the right decision. Wow. She thinks it’ll work with Molly.

Erica thinks Jason should have taken more time with the decision because he’s dealing with people’s lives. Okay, now we’re getting somewhere.

Naomi felt like punching Jason, and that gets a big round of applause.

Anonymous Kari amazingly says it takes a lot of integrity to dump a fiancée on national TV.

Now Chris wades into the crowd to guage the public’s response. Chris is looking for someone to tear Jason a new one, but everyone’s pretty sympathetic. Finally a guy gets up and says there’s no way he would have proposed to a woman moments after breaking down like Jason did. Stephanie says it was better he break up now than a year from now. Maybe so, but what about the time-honoured Bachelor tradition of breaking up six to eight weeks after the final show airs? That’s the right way to do things.


Why does Chris keep saying that “six weeks ago Jason shocked America by professing his love for Molly”? Six weeks ago he may have shocked you, Chris, but we (and America) didn’t see it until last night.

Jason enters to cheers and applause. Brutal.

Now they’re reaching new lows. They’re replaying highlights they just showed 15 minutes ago! They should rename the show Short Attention Span Theatre.

Jason says he’s not proud of what he did to Melissa, and he hates that he “had” to do it. But he’s convinced he made the right decision for all of them. His justification is that he was in love with someone else, which doesn’t quite jibe with his previous assertion that he was in love with two women. If he’s in love with two women, then no matter which one he’s with, he’ll be in love with someone else.

If he had only chosen Jillian, we wouldn’t have this big kerfuffle.

Jason is now talking out of his ass. He says when he broke up with Molly, he didn’t have that emotional piece he needed, but the moment she left she opened up to him and that started growing inside him. What exactly did she say? She just said he made a big mistake and somebody was gonna get-a hurt real bad. That’s opening up? That’s pretty much status quo for jilted finalists.

Now he says Molly has become his best friend. Uh... hello?!... Remember Jillian? You phony bastard.

Now Jason says about Melissa, “She’s the best.” Nuff said.


Molly says it’s been a difficult few weeks for her. Again, I have to ask why, since we just found out about this last night. She says her morals and character have been questioned. How could that have been when the last few weeks America (and Canada) has been at worst neutral about her? But she has Jason to lean on and they’re happier than ever now. Because, you know, he’s a guy with morals and character in abundance.

She does say – and this is a great point – that she and the rest of them are not just characters on a TV show; they’re real people with real jobs and, I’m guessing, real emotions. So the words can hurt. I just want to say that if any of my words have hurt even one of the people in the show, well, then my work here has been a success.

But I kid! I kid! I’m writing about them only as “characters”, not as real people. I know they’re 3-dimensional women and men (and a boy). And to make it up to them, I’d like to publicly invite gorgeous Lauren out to talk about it.


Here comes Jason to join Molly and Chris. Still gets cheers. And Molly has completely forgiven Jason, too. The guy can’t lose. Well, except at the altar with DeAnna! God, that was classic, wasn’t it! Cue it up again! I wanna see it!

Jason can’t keep his paws off Molly. It’s creepier than the hot tub scene with Jillian.

Hey, speaking of Jillian, they’re going to announce the new Bachelorette next. It’s gotta be her, right?


Who’s the lucky girl? Chris says it was an easy decision. Yay! It’s Jillian! Where do I sign up?! Do you think they’d take a 46-year-old bald married father? Why not? Spice things up a bit.

Chris says Jillian captured America’s heart. Trivia time: What Canadian was dubbed
America’s Sweetheart back in the 1920s and ‘30s? Why none other than Mary Pickford. Jillian is in good company.

And knowing what a goer Jillian is, I bet she has sex with all 25 of the guys... Okay, that seems like a shot at her, but it's not. Clearly I was exaggerating, but I’m guessing at least five of them. But she says she does not need her dad to see any more hot tub scenes. She says, with a laugh, she will not live that one down. Yeah, we’ll see about that.

It premieres May 18. So I guess I’ll see you then. And if there’s any other Bachelor related stuff going on (like the inevitable breakup of Jason and Molly) check back here. I'll blog about it.

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