Bachelorette Canada: The confidence game

I'm back! Just in time, too. But listen, I had a semi-good excuse for my tardiness last week. We moved house. Never a fun time. But we're all settled in now (for the most part) and I finally could sit down tonight and watch last week's episode. Here's what I noticed:

The gang started with a group date in Jamaica. Jasmine took her fellas to a rooftop ratty tennis court to learn some dance moves from a couple of local dance hall guys. Is that what it's called? Not sure. Doesn't really matter. Jasmine is looking for confidence more than dancing talent. Good thing.

Cocky Drew says he walks "the fine line between confident and cocky." I'd say that line is so fine as to be practically invisible.

JP, the nudie, probably has the most misplaced confidence of anyone there. He says his canvas is his body. He's an artist, he says.

Once the guys have developed a unique move, they take the elevator down from the roof to perform on the streets. They stop to change wardrobes along the way so at least they look the part in the seconds when they walk out in front of everywhere before they start dancing.

Sexual Tongue Thomas dances like a stripper, Jasmine thinks. JP does a back flip I guess because he can. And Jas is impressed with Drew because he went for it "with full confidence." What else did she expect from him?

Mikhel surprises me with a nipple piercing. The unassuming aviation engineer is a freak!

Later Cocky Drew tells Jasmine he was engaged nine months ago. But he says it with his hand firmly on Jasmine's bare knee and gives her his patented look to make the sale. She bought.

Who is this Scott kid who showed up all episode? I'm sure he's been there all along, but I have no recollection of the shy guy from Winnipeg. Makes me think these shows should randomly add a new person into the mix without letting the viewers know. Just play it like they've been there all along. I'm sure most people wouldn't catch on. That is, if most people are like me.

She gives the rose to someone who showed confidence through performance and through conversation: Cocky Drew. He celebrates the next morning by strutting around in rose-adorned boxer shorts and laughing annoyingly. He tells everyone his goal is to "get lit."

The one-on-one date goes to Kevin W., the ex-marine. They get the first helicopter ride of the season. Remember when a helicopter would make an appearance every other episode? And alternating episodes would be rapelling down the side of a building.

Kevin says the last time he was in a helicopter, he jumped out of it into the ocean. What a stud. Except then we see that he and Jasmine are wearing the exact same shoes. They're unisex Chuck Taylors. They kiss in the air. She's drawn to how real it feels with him.

The chopper lands and the couple do a walking tour of a bat cave. Not nearly as cool as Bruce Wayne's Bat Cave, though. This one is filled with actual bats. Studly Kevin W. is wigged out by them. Jasmine just thinks they're cute.

A table and candles are set up somewhere inside the cave. They sip wine while dodging bat poop. He confesses he's a serial first dater. Says he must have been on a hundred first dates. Then he tells of the pressure he felt as a youth. His older brother was a real stud. Drafted by the New York Mets before a stabbing situation prevented him from ever playing baseball again. Kevin felt the pressure to live up to his brother's studliness. I'd say he succeeded, even if he didn't play baseball.

Jas gives Kevin W. a rose. He's got potential, she thinks. She says he's surprised her the most in every single way. They kiss. He admits that maybe he's only been on 50 first dates.

Another group date. This one includes David, the musician, who so far is 0-for-5 on dates. Going dateless this week is Chris. Cocky Drew cackles over that.

The gang arrives at what looks like a kindergarten. They are to make art with a bunch of local very cute kids. And the guys are all great with them. Mikhel is a little less fun than the others, but still fine. Whoever impresses her the most gets to go on a date with her.

Andrew likes kids because he says he's on the same maturity level as them. Giant Kyle has a blast, dancing around getting glitter everywhere with his kids, although he has very odd sweat marks on his thighs and crotch. And Kevin P. also has a great time. He totally reminds me of a better looking Rob Schneider.

David, the musician, tells the young girls he's paired with that he's a singer. Jasmine is wondering if he's there for her or to showcase his talent. She wants to see the real David. But what I think she's missing is that David is a singer because that is who he is as a human being. That is him being real. He's not just a guy who decided to become a singer; he's a singer because he's a singer. So I think she's judging him a little harshly. She says his singing "just doesn't let up."

The winner, she decides, is Kevin P. Their solo time is rained out so they just sit on a covered balcony, sip wine, and talk. He tells her he's spent the past four years on the road, where one ends up saying goodbye a lot. She asks if he wants to be a dad. Usually on these shows, the person doesn't hesitate. It's always just, "Oh my God, yes, absolutely! I want a dozen of them!" But Kevin P. paused. He said there was a time when he didn't but now his nieces are making him reconsider. Then for some inexplicable reason he shares a story of his 4.5-year-old niece asking him on the way to the airport, "Uncle Kevin, are you going away because you're scared to love?" You just know his sister planted that thought into her little head.

It gives Jasmine pause, though. Wasn't just a cute little story. Now she's thinking the kid might actually be on to something. But she gives Kevin P. the rose anyway.

Hanging around the pool at the resort, Cocky Drew feigns an interest in Chris's plight. He suggests Chris ask Jasmine what her 5-year plan is, then turns his back on Chris and mumbles to Kevin W., "knowing full well that she hates that." But Chris, as Cocky Drew always points out, is no dummy. He saw right through the advice. Chris thinks Drew is "malicious." Cue the dastardly Cocky Drew laugh, which we heard all episode.

At the cocktail party, Mikhel stole Jasmine first. Not only that, but he led her to seclusion and then kissed her long and hard before even speaking. Or maybe his nipple ring was caught in her dress. Hard to say.

Earlier in the classroom, Jasmine told the guys she's not a big fan of presents; she much prefers a gift someone makes themself because it means so much more. Someone was paying attention because Mikhel whipped out a very crude string with a piece of coral on it. He called it a "necklace." Then he said with a straight face, "I love making things."

Dateless Chris knew he had to get some time in. He told the cameras, "I'm hanging by a thread. But then again, so do spiders. And that's where they do some of their best work." He interrupts Mikhel. Chris tells Jasmine he never made the sports teams when he was young so when he was living in Saskatchewan he started a non-profit group for kids. Humble brag.

When he gets back out to the guys, Cocky Drew is curious how it went. He asks Chris what they chatted about. Chris said, "Five-year plans." Then he quickly admitted he was kidding and yammered on about connections. I thought he should have left it at those three words and walked off. Would have driven Cocky Drew insane.

Kevin W., with a rose already, then interrupted Shy Scott, who was telling Jasmine again how shy he is. Other fellas don't like it. I'm not a fan of it, either, but why didn't they just go and interrupt Kevin W? Turnabout is fair play.

(On the After Show, Kaitlyn and Shawn were guests, and they both were in favour of such interruptions. She said she wanted Shawn to come and make a connection even though he had a rose. But the rose means you'll be there for another week. He's got a whole other week to make that connection.)

So the two Kevins and Cocky Drew have roses. Two will go home tonight. My prediction was they'd be JP and Shy Scott. Then again, while they were lined up, I got a glimpse of Mikhel in capri pants and could understand if he were let go just based on those. And Thomas's chapeau wasn't helping either. But let's see if I'm right. The rest of the roses went in order to:

1. Andrew
2. Mike
3. Giant Kyle
4. Mikhel
5. Chris
6. Thomas, who removed his hat to greet Jasmine like an old-timey gentleman
7. David
8. Benoit

Nailed it! That means buh-bye to JP and Scott. Neither was too upset.

Next week they head back to Canada. They'll be in Benoit's hometown of Montreal. There he can show off his masterful French-speaking ability.

The After Show has gone overboard with the canned audience. Someone's really riding those levels so that everything is a massive cheer. There's no way a Canadian audience pulls that off for half an hour. The only way I'll believe there's a studio audience is if they turn the cameras around and prove it.

Other than that (and host Jenn's bad case of "oot and aboot"), I like the show. They get good guests and it gets spirited and fun. Kaitlyn, who is not a Cocky Drew fan, said she knew, though, that the show needs a villain otherwise people wouldn't watch. I respectfully disagree. That's a relatively recent phenomenon and people always watched. There are always people who are going to be less liked, but I don't think the producers need to artificially enhance anyone's villainous qualities or attract contestants they know will take on that role.

Agree? Disagree? Is anyone watching this? I know some of my readers have been in the United States and so they can't watch this, but is anyone else out there? What are your thoughts?
(Do I sound desperate? I'm not. Just curious. Like Cocky Drew.)